Unfiltered Story #250809

I stopped trusting the media at age nine — absolutely true.

Here’s what happened: In fourth grade, I advanced to a county-wide math competition run by the school district. The concept for the competition must have sounded like a good one on paper: each student sat on a square on a large-checkerboard grid marked on the floor, and advanced or retreated based on answering math questions correctly. In reality, though, it was very poorly organized and EXTREMELY boring, and before long I decided there were better uses for my time. So I curled up on my side in my little square and took a nap. It was a nice nap.

As it turns out, some reporter/photographer was covering the event for a local community newspaper (I’m sure that must’ve been what he/she dreamed of when becoming a journalist) and snapped a picture of me napping. They ran the picture in the paper the next morning, identifying me by name in the caption, and saying — get this — that I had “toppled over in the excitement”!!!

I have never taken the news media seriously since.