25 More Annoying Workplace Sayings And What They Really Mean

Working | June 6, 2016
Workplace Saying #1:

“Win-Win!”
Only said by people who are about to lose.

Workplace Saying #2:

“Give it 110%.”
Will you pay me 110% of my salary? No? Didn’t think so.

Workplace Saying #3:

“Rightsizing.”
When they’re too PC to say ‘downsizing’ and too scared to say ‘you’re fired.’ Does this mean that if you get hired it’s leftsizing?

Workplace Saying #4:

“Empowering You.”
If your boss tells you they’re empowering you, they are condescendingly saying they will let you do a little bit of a job, but the real power is still with them, so at the end they disempower you – is disempower a word? Well it should be.

Workplace Saying #5:

“My Two Cents.”
May have been a popular phrase in the Eighties but has not recognized inflation.

Workplace Saying #6:

“Bring Your ‘A’ Game.”
Extra annoying when the boss fails to specify if he wants the XBox or Playstation version.

Workplace Saying #7:

“Paradigm Shift.”
If your manager utters this, it’s because they just learned how to correctly pronounce it and it’s their new favourite word for the week. Try to hold out until Friday; they’ll learn a new one by then.

Workplace Saying #8:

What they say: “Take It Offline.”
Because making everything sound like it’s in a low-budget hacker movie makes it sound so much cooler.

Workplace Saying #9:

“Lots Of Moving Parts.”
The same cannot be said for the brain of whoever came up with this one.

Workplace Saying #10:

“Best Practice”
Still continues to haunt you even when you no longer need to practice.

Workplace Saying #11:

“Get all your ducks In A Row.”
Ironic, considering just how many ducks I give…

Workplace Saying #12:

“Blue-Sky Thinking.”
Someone is getting confused about all your processesing being done in The Cloud.

Workplace Saying #13:

“Let’s reach out.”
Because saying ‘let’s set up a meeting’ scares too many people away.

Workplace Saying #14:

“Let’s Take This To The Next Level.”
This is only a good thing if you work in a one-story office with a roof-garden and a bar.

Workplace Saying #15:

“Window Of Opportunity”
Does not apply to offices that use Macs.

Workplace Saying #16:

“Do More With Less”
Partially correct, as I will be able to do a lot more with less corporate BS getting in my way.

Workplace Saying #17:

“Peel Back The Onion.”
This will bring nothing but tears.

Workplace Saying #18:

“Let’s Touch Base.”
I would prefer my bases not be touched at any time, thank you.

Workplace Saying #19:

“Back To The Drawing Board.”
A way to say that your idea is crap without getting HR involved.

Workplace Saying #20:

“It’s On My Radar.”
Because… you know… I’m a submarine for some reason.

Workplace Saying #21:

What they say: “Move The Goal Post.”
Or as it is known in the sporting world, cheating.

Workplace Saying #22:

“The Elephant In The Room”
This should only be used if there is an actually, physical elephant, literally in the room, and it has just said something awkward.

Workplace Saying #23:

“All Hands On Deck.”
Because up until now all you’ve been doing is twiddling your thumbs.

Workplace Saying #24:

“Swim-Lane.”
This is some corporate BS way to specify a responsibility within the organization. Unless your organization is Michael Phelps then DO NOT USE!

Workplace Saying #25:

“Synergy.”
Quite possibly the most loathed piece of corporate jargon ever devised; we could say to use it is a SINergy, and it still would be worse than that pun.

 

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