Unfiltered Story #248401

(It’s national Christmas Jumper day! As such, we are wearing Christmas jumpers. My one is a geeky one. Mum’s one is an elf one with BELLS ALL OVER IT! This is the day I/we had. We are about to leave for work, so we turn off the hall lights before leaving. Because it is before 7am, is winter and is the UK, it thus goes black and we can’t see. Mum moves.)

Me: “I can hear where you are.”

(Later, in the car on the way to work)

Mum: (jingling loudly) “Well… You can tell the roads aren’t smooth…”

Me: (Somewhat grouchily) “I didn’t know it would be jingle all the way”

(Thankfully, despite working for the same company and in the same building, we are NOT in the same office. At the end of the day, I go and collect mum so we can head home. She is talking animatedly to a new co-worker)

Me: (pretty gruffly) “Oh my god, stop moving! No-one can hear you over yourself!”

(the new co-worker gives me a look)

Me: “She spawned me.”

Mum: (still talking animatedly) “That’s number 3 child”

Me: (intelligible noise) “Stop jingling!”

Mum: (bouncing on the spot) “JINGLE JINGLE JINGLE”

(We leave and go to the car. She always has to use her inhaler from the very short walk which I always get for her. I hand her inhaler and she goes to shake it; she uses the sound to make sure there’s some left in there. She jingles loudly and hands me back the inhaler)

Mum: “I can’t hear it, you do it”

(I sort of go to do it before what she said actually hits me, and I burst into laughter. I do do the inhaler thing though. Later that evening at home. Mum starts coughing in her armchair)

Me: “Christ, even in death you’re noisy”

Mum: “If I’m jingling I’m alive”

Me: “I don’t know… It could be a death jingle”