Unfiltered Story #245283

(As a backstory, I used to work as a remote tech support agent in a call center for a very popular tech company. I started off at entry level, working as a “Level 1” support technician for the company’s mobile device division. We provide over the phone troubleshooting, “how-to’s”, arrange mail in repairs, manage customer’s accounts on the devices (that allows them to purchase apps,etc), and could also schedule appointments for the company’s popular in-store service “bar”. Due to so many customers not utilizing phone support for simple issues that could be resolved over the phone, these “bar” appointments were weeks out at some stores, leading to customers with legit hardware issue waiting weeks while the “bar” was flooded with customers whose issues could have been resolved with a 10 minute phone call. Also, the store support CANNOT access a customer’s account. This must be done with phone support. Because of these issues, the company revamped their website. Originally any customer could go to the company’s site and book an appointment at the “bar” for any reason, no questions asked. The new website leads the customer through a serious of questions, and will guide them to call phone support first if it is likely the issue can be resolved over the phone. If it cannot, we can schedule appointments at that for the store in their area. Most customers get it, and while some where confused, most were just happy to get their issues resolved in the quickest, most efficient manner. Not all customers though, and this one takes the cake.
Note: If a caller calls from a registered phone number, our screen prepopulates with their name, address, devices owned, and support history. This call comes in. The customer owns a phone and tablet with us, and is located in Beverly Hills, CA. Also- all callers receive a survey after the call is completed. Our pay rate is based on our surverys/time taken on calls.
Me: Thank you for calling “OMIT” support, am I speaking with “CUSTOMER”?
Customer: You’re damned right this is “CUSTOMER”! Do you know who I am? I should not have to lower myself to calling and speaking to the likes of YOU! My husband is a famous producer, and 10 minutes of my time is worth more than you make in a month!
Me: (dumbfounded) I…I apologize for the inconvenience ma’am, I know it can be inconvenient having to call technical support. If you let me know what the issue is, I can get you taken care of as quickly as possible!
Customer: No, no you can’t. YOU can’t do anything. This is why I always visit the “OMIT bar” when I need assistance. You idiots there know nothing. I just want my website back how it was so I can make my own appointment and get help!
Me: (trying to keep my voice steady, knowing she isn’t going to like this) I see the problem, and I apologize for the confusion Mrs.”Customer”. Due to the “bars” being overrun with so many issues they cannot fix in store, or that could be fixed easily with our support team, the company has redesigned the website. The website now asks simple questions, which will guide you to the best support options for your prob….”
Customer: (cuts me off mid-sentence) I AM NOT SOME ORDINARY CUSTOMER! I refuse to be treated as such! Do you know how many “OMIT” products I own? I pay your salary! You listen here b****, (slowly) I….WANT……MY…..WEBSITE….LIKE…IT…..WAS!!!! I WILLMAKE MY OWN “BAR” APPOINTMENTS WHENEVER I SEEM FIT!!!
(I’m ready to disconnect the call at the point, but policy says we can only disconnect a call if a customer curses at us 3 times. We have to warn them the first 2 times.
Me: Ma’am, please do not curse at me. I will do everything in my power to help you, but I cannot do so if you keep cursing at me. I understand you do not like the website change, and for that I apologize, and I will pass the information along to our development team. In the meantime, I can do one of two things to help you. One, you can tell me what the issue is so I can see if this is something I can resolve for you, or two, I can go ahead and set you a “bar” appointment at your local store. Which option sounds best to you?
The customer is silent for a moment, then lets out the loudest, highest pitch shriek I’ve ever heard, followed by:
Customer: Option THREE- You give me my website back. I want a DIRECT LINK TO MAKE APPOINTMENTS. I WILL NOT CALL YOU. I will NOT answer these d*** questions. You will give me the link, and you will do it NOW!
Me: (losing patience quick) Ma’am? If I could do so I would, but I do not have any link that would provide that. The website has been changed; that function no longer exists. Would you like me to make an appointment for you?
Customer: SEE???? YOU USELESS LYING C***! You just said it! You DO HAVE A LINK to make appointments. How else could you schedule it for me? Send me your link, now. I’ll wait. Let me know when its been sent.
Me: (seeing red at this point, and I begin scanning the room for a supervisor) Ma’am this is the second time I’ve asked you to stop cursing at me. If you do it again, company policy states I have to disconnect this call. I apologize for the confusion, but I do not have an external link I can send you. We schedule appointments through “Company’s” internal, proprietary software, and it is not for public use. I can, however, offer again to either troubleshoot, or make your appointment for you.
Customer: I AM NOT THE PUBLIC. I AM “CUSTOMER”. You WILL give me what I am asking for. I dont care if you have to call “FAMOUS CEO” and have him do it- I will hold right here while you do. “FAMOUS, FORMER NOW-DECEASED CEO” is rolling in his grave right now. I can’t believe they call you
“Company” Care Support. Now GIVE ME MY LINK.
Me: (losing patience fast) Ma’am, with all due respect, I cannot and will not call “CEO” for this issue. I can get you a supervisor if you like , however. I am just unable to provide you with what you are requesting. I can provide you with the email address for our development team that handles customers’ requests pertaining to our website. They typically reply quickly, usually within 1 business day. Maybe they will be able to better explain the new system. In the meantime, we can either troubleshoot the issue, or book you for the “bar”. Which would you like?
Customer: I CAN’T WAIT A DAY! THIS IS URGENT! I tell you what. I will ALLOW you to book this ONE appointment for me, but I expect an email with my personal scheduling link sent by the end of the day today. Now, I will be at the store in an hour. I need an appointment for 11.
As she is talking, I have already pulled up the schedule for her preferred store. My stomach drops, knowing this is about to get worse.
Me: “Unfortunately, I just pulled up “store location)’s “bar” schedule, and it looks like the next available appointment is next Friday at 2 PM (9 days away). I can check some other stores in your area?
Customer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? No. No. NONONONO. This will NOT do. Cancel someone else. I’ll just take theirs. This is an EMERGENCY!
Me:(all out of patience with this woman) Ma’am that is not how this works. “COMPANY” treats all customers equally. Would you like me to check other stores for you, or do you care to tell me the issue you’re experiencing?”.
Customer: “No! I will not be bothered by driving out of my way. You will make me an appointment there, today, by 12 PM. That gives you two hours. This is an emergency!
Me:”I cannot do that, and you already stated that. Can I ask WHAT the emergency is?”
Customer:”My phone isnt ringing! I am married to (famous producer) and I assist with casting, scheduling, and many other IMPORTANT responsibilities that you would know NOTHING about. I need my phone replaced TODAY” customer screeches.
Me: (starting to grin) I am sorry to hear that, and I can see why that would be an emergency to you. Would you be willing to walk through just a couple quick troubleshooting steps with me? If you do, and the issue persists, I can make an emergency appointment to bump someone else’s and get you seen”.
(This is a bold faced lie, and risky, but I am 99% sure I know the issue, and if not, I am really beyond caring at this point)
Customer: OH MY GOD! Are you serious? You’ve already wasted an hour of my time! Might as well, even though it’s obvious it is the device. I tried EVERYTHING, which is why I need the “bar” now.
Me: I understand, but since I would be bumping a customer, we need to be 100% sure. Now, humor me. Can you check the volume setting? What do you see?
Customer: I’m not an idiot. It is at full volume of course. Here, I’ll turn it up AGAIN.
Me: Omay, thanks for checking that. Now, I would like you to look at the side of your phone, near the top. There is a small switch there. Do you see it?
Customer: STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE I’m a (slur for handicalled person). Yes, I see it.
Me: What color do you see when you look at it?
Customer: ORANGE, OF COURSE! Duh!
Me: Try one last thing for me. Use your finger to flip the switch so you can no longer see orange. Let me know when it is done.
Customer: (sighs) Whatever. It’s done, and still not working. Now, make my appointment for 11:30.
Me:(practically giggling at this point) One more thing and I can. I just have to verify we called the phone to test the ringer. Would you allow me to disconnect this call and call you right back?
Customer: This is beyond ridiculous. “COMPANY ” better compensate me for my time today. Go ahead. *click*
Me: (Grinning like the Cheshire Cat, dials number back)
Customer: WHAT THE F***? IT RANG! You’re trying to trick me! It’s not fixed, you didn’t do anything! You’re just trying to trick me!
Me: Maam, there is no possible way I remotely made your phone ring, unless we fixed the issue. The switch you flipped is called the ring/silence switch. If you flip the switch to “orange”, it silences all calls, notifications, etc on the device, even if the volume is up. Perfect for movie theaters, meetings, things like that. The good news is you are all set!
Customer: Yeah yeah, and you only took an hour out of my day to do it. This would have taken 5 minutes at the “bar”. Now give me my link.
Me: Maam, I cannot do that. I emailed you the contact info to our development team. I wish you luck with them. I am glad I was able to resolve your emergency issue however, and thanks for calling “company” support!
Customer:*click*
Longest call ever in my years there. Took 5 years off my life, and took $5 an hour off my pay too for two weeks. The customer gave me all zeros on her survery because i wouldnt give her some nonexistent link. I appealed to QA but they wouldnt remove it, ruining my 100% satisfaction rating. I didnt last long there.