Unfiltered Story #244632

(My boyfriend and I are in college and we are both in the same club. This particular club raises money for kids with cancer. One of our fundraisers is called Assassin. Each member who participates has to pay a certain fee and then they can join in the game. Assassin can take weeks to finish the game. At the start, each person is given a clothespin and a target; with the targets home address. Throughout the next few weeks, a person will try to pin their target with the clothespin and effectively “kill” them. Once the person is dead, they give up their clothespin and target who, is now the winner’s next target. This then continues until only on person remains and is called the Master Assassin. So, my boyfriend and I go to the club meeting where we will get our targets.)

Me: Just in case we get each other in the future let’s make some ground rules.
Boyfriend: Okay, I don’t want you to pin me in my sleep anyway.
Me: So, we will not pin each other while driving, anytime we’re at your apartment, or on date night.
Boyfriend: Okay, those terms sounds fair.

(It’s now after the meeting and one of the rules is that we couldn’t pin each other until after 9:30 which is in 30 minutes. This is so everyone has a chance to run away from the meeting before the start of the game. Also note, I got my boyfriend as my target and being competitive, am trying to spend the extra 30 minutes with him so I can get him out the first night. So, we head to Walmart.)

Me: Hey, I just saw [Friend who is also playing Assassin] in the other isle.
Boyfriend: Let’s leave! I’m sure that I’m unlucky enough that she has me and will try to kill me soon!

(Both my boyfriend and I continuously check our phones for the 9:30 time. Eventually, I dropped him off at home before I could pin him so, I had to wait another day. It’s now the next day which is date night for us. Every date night we get dinner and watch one to three movies depending on time. We are eating dinner in my apartment when my brother comes for a visit and interrupts dinner. He leaves within a few minutes and then this happens)

Boyfriend: Babe, you lost.
Me: What?
Boyfriend: You lost the game?
Me: What game?

(He proceeds to pull a clothespin off my back.)

Boyfriend: You’re dead!
Me: But, it’s date night! How could you!
Boyfriend: It was at an intermission.
Me: No, it wasn’t!
Boyfriend: Yes, your brother interrupted.
Me: You really had to ruin date night to win didn’t you.
Boyfriend: I didn’t ruin it, it was at an intermission! So, who is my new target to kill?

(I hand him my pin and target.)

Me: It looks like you have to commit seppuku to win now.
Boyfriend: (laughing) Babe, what are the chances we get each other?! Out of 30 people playing the game we still get each other’s names in the first go! I guess this really means that we are meant to be!
Me: You mean we are meant to kill each other?
Boyfriend: No, we are perfect for each other!
Me: I’m still angry at you. I think I’m going to change my movie pick for tonight to the Notebook instead of 22 Jump Street.
Boyfriend: Damn it!