Unfiltered Story #241007

My dad knows my birthday is coming up and, finding out that our printer is acting up, decides to get me a new one as a gift. He brings it over on Saturday, the 4th, because it’s the first convenient day. My birthday is the 5th.

Dad: [to my kids] And do you know why I’m bringing this? What day is today?

Kids: …

Dad: It’s your mom’s birthday!

Me: Nope.

Dad: [completely ignores me] Come on, let’s sing Happy Birthday for her!

(hours later)

Dad: Wait… Today’s the 4th? I thought it was the 5th.

Me: Nope, the 4th. I told you it wasn’t my birthday.

Dad: Yeah, I wondered why you said that. I thought you just didn’t know what you were talking about.

Ladies and gentlemen, my family.