23 Wild Customer Stories About Tattoos, And Those Who Should Never Be Allowed To Get One!

Dear readers,

Tattoos are not for everybody, but everybody certainly seems to have an opinion about them! It was surprisingly easy to round up 23 ink-tastic stories from our archives about idiots who shouldn’t get tattoos, religious nuts who think they’re of the devil, and at least one jaw-dropping story that will send chills down your spine (it’s the last one).

Be warned: getting actual tattoos are less painful than reading about some of the following morons:

Has Been PINked – What happens if he needs to change his PIN?

It’s Not Like They’re Permanent Or Anything – When the customer is so ignorant it becomes almost adorable.

Marked For Better Things – That burn hurt way more than any tattoo.

She Has ‘Trouble’ Written All Over Her – Maybe you could tattoo her a clue?

Think Before You Ink – Be glad our stories are text-based and don’t come with images…

This Customer Has Trouble Written All Over Him – We’d say the tattoo ink must have gone to his brain but he would need to have had a brain to begin with.

Identity Crisis – Just tattoo “I’m The President” on you while you’re at so you can get into the white house.

This Customer Giving You An Earful – Make sure they spell ‘Irony’ correctly when they tattoo it to their forehead.

Inking And Thinking – Don’t ever let what’s on the outside dictate what’s on the inside.

He’s Got Bigot Written All Over Him – The only ugly thing in this story is the guy’s attitude.

Sea Of Electricity – Meet the most adorable cyborg in the world.

Piercing Judgments, Part 4 – You’re obviously going to Hell but at least she’s being nice about it.

Not Been Teenage For An Age – Married to the tattoos, as well as just plain married.

Think Before You Ink – Advice for those who want to give themselves a tattoo: don’t.

Now That’s What I Call Love – Please apply the same advice for the above story to this one also.

Hard Core Ambitions, Soft Core Realities – We say this with utmost seriousness and no irony whatsoever, but they really need the ‘D’.

Tit For Tat(too) – Even the dolphins are laughing.

Not Born Yesterday – Pray this is just post-pregnancy brain…

This Customer Has Trouble Written All Over Her – Should have tested it with a sharpie…

What’s “Bad Liar” In Asian? – Just google Chinese for idiot (白痴) and mark them with that.

Forgotten In The Ink Of An Eye – We’ll ink grandma a map.

Girl With The Dragon Tattoo – Girls can get tattoos of flowers and THAT’S IT!

Ink And You’ll Miss It – Don’t get tattoos drunk or it’s your a**.

And finally, a bonus story about a tattoo that will send a shiver down your spine.

Never Again – Tattoos don’t make you tough, the experiences behind them do.

We hope you enjoyed this tattoo-themed roundup! Let us know in the comments if there were any stories we were too lazy to include! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Check out more roundups here to see if you’ve missed any!