23 Ridiculous Stories About Weird Customers You’ll Meet At The Bank

Dear readers,

There’s something so soothing about the sound of pens scrawling and papers shuffling in a spacious, sparse space. We don’t know about you, but these days, we’re so hot and so bored it that almost sounds like fun to go down to the local bank to people-watch and enjoy some air conditioning.

In the interest of social distancing (and not getting arrested for loitering), we’ve decided not to do that. Instead, we’ve dug 23 stories out of our archives that show some of the strange and irritating people that you may spot at the bank!

A Fee(ble) Excuse – Why do you think they have these fees? Learn from this!

Cold Hard Cash Meets The Cold Hard Truth – You don’t really know how banks work, do you?

You’re Supposed To Protect My Money From Myself! – Seriously, the fees exist for a reason.

Not Listening Is An Occupational Hazard – This is a black and white tagging job: “Extra Stupid.”

Fake 20/20 Vision – These things usually come out in the wash. But maybe they did it wrong…

Just Paper Cut Right To It – Maybe they should switch to Venmo.

They Don’t GET It – They don’t cover this stuff in finance class.

Check How You Behave With The Check – NEWBIE! But they know their stuff.

Can’t Account For That Much Stupidity – This person got hired? Like, for a job?

Compliments Are Not Complementary – Wow, this bank has everything!

Sounding Him Out – If you’re going to be stupid, always get it on camera.

PIN-Headed, Part 7 – I’m useless with numbers; that’s why I’m an editor.

They Should Write A Movie About This – This scammer succeeded in ruining their day.

Three Fee See? – You know, you could just keep the one they send you for free.

Has A Report Retort – “Just a receptionist”? What a jerk.

In For A Penny… – Always, always, always be specific.

Getting Breaking Bad Credit – That’s just methed up!

Banked That Day Off – Bank tellers are people, too, shockingly enough.

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38 – This is why we have almost a hundred stories with this title.

His Wife Will Have Hell Toupee – Time to rock that receding hairline, my friend!

Underpinning Their Own Stupidity – Behave spitefully, get a dose of instant karma.

Customer, Know Thyself – Always be prepared; it’ll save you from getting yelled at by your peers.

Arr, Matey! I Be Wanting Your Gold Doubloons! – A surprise visit from one Will Turner.

We hope you enjoyed this roundup about crazy bank customers! Let us know in the comments if there were any stories we forgot to include! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Check out more roundups here to see if you’ve missed any!