23 Ludicrous Stories About Irrational Recyclers!

Dear readers,

Today is National Crush Day! It’s not about those awkward butterfly feelings you get when that ~*special someone*~ walks by; it’s about crushing cans! Crush Day celebrates recycling and highlights the positive effects it has on the environment.

Here are 23 stories we’ve recycled from our archives about people who are too lazy, stupid, or selfish to recycle. And when you’re done reading these stories, maybe you can take your crush out to crush a few cans.

A Vicious Recycle – Once you start recycling, arson is only a few steps away.

Recycling His Way Of Thinking – You will pay for your stupidity. Well, someone will.

Always Time For A Rhyme – One good rhyme deserves another.

Need To Bottle Up Your Feelings For This Customer – Sometimes recycling is more trouble than it’s worth.

Putting The Dry Into Dry Humor – This is one of those times when recycling might not be the best choice.

Bin There, Done That – BINS!

Please Recycle The Law – Getting people to recycle sometimes requires a proper incentive.

Trash Of The Earth… AKA Customers – I’m confused. Are we saving the planet or aren’t we?

Will You Can It! – Okay, okay! That’s enough recycling!

It’s Not In Safe Hands – Hits from the comments: “Wizard’s First Rule: People are stupid.” (RIP Terry Goodkind!)

A Vicious Recycle, Part 2 – There’s something extra satisfying about recycling something useless and outdated.

Depositing Their Plan – Cheap and lazy? That’s so economical!

Recycle His Mind – Screw the planet we live on, right?

Now That’s Just Trashy – Well, if it makes her happy and helps the environment, who are we to complain?

Their Sharing Tactic Is Golden – You probably shouldn’t recycle this tactic.

Just Throw The Whole Administration Away – Don’t you wish you could toss this president into the recycle bin?

Cycling The Recycling Signs – At least she recycled it, I guess.

Recycling Is Not For Lazy People – Hits from the comments: “That’s not laziness; that’s a power trip.”

Keyboard Eco-Warrior – I only care about the environment when it’s most convenient for me!

Empty Cans, Even Emptier Stomachs – Gee, thanks ever so much.

Paper Recycling Has Become A Toxic Task – Sometimes Karma gets recycled.

About To Kick The Can – Hits from the comments: “You get into your DeLorean and set the wayback machine to before you turned into an idiot!”

Kindness In A Bottle – To wrap things up, here’s an inspirational story about a time when recycling really paid off.

We hope you enjoyed this roundup about recycling fails! Let us know in the comments! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!