23 Funny Stories About Bookstore Employees And Their Terrible Customers

| Right | May 19, 2020

Dear readers,

Bookstore employees are often passionate about reading, eager to share their love of books with the customers. Unless you have this sorry bunch who don’t seem to get how bookstores, or in some cases even books, work.

Please enjoy, from our archives, these 23 literary classics, of bookstore customers not always being right.

Literary Emergency – I don’t think a gift card is bucket-list material.

Employee Of The Year – Making all the non-magical bookstore employees look bad!

Vague Question, Meet Vague Answer – Proof that life can be stranger than non-fiction.

The Blind Leading The Blind – Warning: This story is complete gibberish.

Oh, How The Truth Doth Sting – Allow us to look up a book for you on recovering from burns.

All The World’s A Book – They don’t want a book book, just a book, that’s not a book, but is also a book.

We Only Have The Other Kind – Just give them the Codex Gigas and let the sparks fly.

Fighting Ignorance With Ignorance – The more you force them to explain, the more stupid they realize they sound.

Might I Also Suggest A Dictionary – Words are going extinct.

Back In My Day, We Walked Barefoot, Backwards And Buck Naked – She’s been around since before books were invented.

Shopping Amongst The Commoners – This rich, elitist, man has got something coming to him.

At Least He’s Being Honest – Careful, he’s on the contrary.

Playing Hide And Don’t Seek – It’s time to pray for this to end.

It Was Either That Or Get Shocked By The Kite Again – The written word: available since 1791.

Conspiracy Weary – They want to know if you bought Oprah’s recommendation this month.

Always Imitated, Never Duplicated – We don’t think this is code for anything.

Sophocles, World’s First Toilet Humorist – An ode to toilet humor.

At Least She Has The General Idea – School reading that makes you want to drop dead.

Everyone Loves A Cynic – A customer’s definition of lazy is “not picking up after me.”

And They Wonder Why Customer Service Is Slow  – How dare you put the books away on the shelves?! How will I find them!

Like Comic Book Guy, Except Much Prettier – Introducing: Comic Book Girl! (People really need to stop being shocked they exist.)

How Do These People Remember How To Breathe? – Trying really hard to not kick this person out.

What’s A Synonym For Thesaurus – How very incongruous, paradoxical, satiric, wry…

 

We hope you enjoyed this collection of stories! Know any that we missed? Let us know in the comments! Want to submit your own story? Do it here!

Stay safe, everyone!