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23 Crazy Stories About Drive-Thru Customers

| Right | July 24, 2020

Dear readers,

Today is Drive-Thru day! Those inconceivably convenient constructions that are plugged into fast-food restaurants, pharmacies, banks, coffee shops, and even funeral homes! Sadly, with extra convenience comes extra entitlement from some customers who can’t handle waiting for more than a few seconds.

In solidarity with drive-thru staff the world over, here are 23 stories about customers who we wished had carried on driving.


Nonsensical Hypotheticals – When the drive-thru is so convenient the customer wants you to do everything for them.

Drive-Thru Virgin – Even first-time users of drive-thrus shouldn’t possibly be this dumb.

Enigmatic Espresso – They want Schrödinger’s Coffee, which is both everything and nothing at the same time.

Don’t Ask For Chocolate Drops – When the customer doesn’t know what item is called so they’ll name it any old crap.

This Prank Has A Drinking Problem – The beautiful tale of a prank backfiring, by firing back.

Tall-Size Steps Towards Venti-Size Change – Proving a customer wrong never tasted so sweet.

Employee Of The Year, Part 2 – The next customer was from Scunthorpe and a huge fight was instigated…

Rain Drops Keep Falling On My (Thick) Head – Well, technically sound does travel better through water…

No Shirt, No Brains, No Service – Regular customers cannot handle irregular staff… or remembering one simple order.

They Can’t Hold Their Drink – When will they learn that drive-thru employees have been around the block more times than you’ve driven around theirs?

It Was Ms. Mustard, In The Drive-Thru, With The Packet – If you must act like an entitled shrew you shall be treated like one.

He Does Have A Good Point – When you work the drive-thru, but they aren’t driving in.

It’s Not Exactly SAT Vocabulary – When the customer doesn’t have a basic understanding of thermodynamics you know you’re in trouble.

Craz-E – You’d think a lawyer would know how to use words.

Fast Food And Polygamy – When paying it forward means you should take a look backward.

Close, But No Cigarillo – When they think the drive-thru cigarette store is actually a drive-thru bank.

I Will Now Know You As An A**hole – Customers don’t like it when you use their same flawed logic on them.

Totally Loopy, Thru-And-Thru – We don’t know where she is going but it is definitely not ‘thru’…

Catastrophe Averted – When they finally stop and LISTEN they realize they are the biggest a**hole on the ranch.

It Doesn’t Take Much To Get A Guy Going – You do not want to know what his plans are for those straws.

(Gassy) Rumblings Of Discontent – As soon as the customer leaves the drive-thru, they (and all their insides) are not your responsibility.

They Always Hunt In Packs – This explains soooooo much!

Fact Check Fail – And a final story that isn’t about drive-thrus. In fact, this is an anti-drive-thru story.


We hope you enjoyed this collection of crazy Drive-Thru stories and the customers that use them! Know any stories we missed? Let us know in the comments! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Check out more roundups here to see if you’ve missed any!

Question of the Week

Tell us about a customer that lied or scammed to get what they wanted.

I have a story to share!