Unfiltered Story #223055

(I’m a customer in this story, though I am currently a retail associate at a department store and have been there for many years. It is nearly 2:30 in the morning, and I am with a group of my friends at [Well Known Diner], and we have our checks in hand and are in the process of cashing out individually. A customer (who is clearly quite stoned) walks up, cuts right through the middle of us, and interrupts the cashier who was about to take my check and cash me out.)

Stoned Customer: Can I get a [very cheap meal platter] only with [substitution] instead?

Cashier #1: Hang on. *he calls to one of his coworkers to come over and take the guy’s order, as he is in the cash out process and can’t easily ring someone else up*

Cashier #2: What can I get you? *the customer repeats his request* Oh, actually we don’t make substitutions for any of our [low-priced meals].

Stoned Customer: *he takes a moment to respond, and when he does his speech is slow and just short of slurred; he is also blocking the card reader machine I need to get to, and doesn’t seem to notice my attempts to get to it* I’ve never had a problem with you people doing this before.

Cashier #1: *picks up a menu* He’s right, actually. See, it says right here that ‘no substitutions are allowed’.

Cashier #2: Yeah, I don’t know how they do it at [other diners in the franchise] but we can’t do that.

Stoned Customer: But I never had a problem getting this before, why can’t you just give me [substitution]?

Cashier #1: Because we can’t, it’s not allowed. We can give you [other meal at a slightly higher price] as it’s a ‘build your own’, but we can’t make a substitution on this one.

Stoned Customer: I don’t understand. All I want is this meal with [substitution], why is this so hard? I’ve never had a problem before.

(the conversation goes on for another minute in a similarly circular fashion, with both cashiers telling him they can’t make substitutions, and him insisting he’s never had a problem. finally, something occurs to me, and i speak up.)

Me: You know, they obviously just can’t make substitutions here, it’s that simple. So if you want your [substitution], you’d better just go some place else.

Stoner Customer: *stares hard at me without blinking for several seconds; i’m almost worried he’s about to get violent, when he turns away, mumbling* Fine, I guess I will then.

Cashier #2: Thank you so much, I couldn’t say anything but I’m so glad you did.

Cashier #1: That was f***ing AWESOME. *gives me a high five and my friends, who witnessed the exchange, follow suit*

Me: *laughing* God, that was such a rush. I could NEVER do that at my job, but I suddenly realized I’m not at work! I don’t f***ing work here, I can say whatever the h*** I want! That felt so damn good!