Unfiltered Story #208798

(I work in a small cafe where people can perform music as long as they secured a spot 4 weeks prior.One of regular performers is girl in her late teens-early twenties who goes by the stage name “Luna”,complete with wolf ears,a tail,fake fangs,fake claws,contacts,a wig and edgy clothes.She came in early,out of costume with her guitar and a duffel bag.I make her usual drink and we make small talk.)

Me:Hey Amber,ready for the show?

Amber:You bet.I got a new song that’ll shake this place.

Me: You say this about every song.

(At that moment I see two boys from our school who are known for their long list of ex girlfriends.They’re the most shallow creatures I have ever met.They find girls to date and after they get bored they dump them.)

Guy #1:Hey pancake,make me a [ridiculously complicated drink] and make it large.

Guy #2:I’ll have [simpler drink],large. I’m paying good money for it so don’t make me wait.

Me:*fake smile*Right away sir.

Inner me:Rich D****-Bags.

(I’m pretty flat compared to other girls my age and Amber,while a very busty girl,her shapes are hard to see because of her baggy clothes.As Luna she wear much more provocative yet modest enough clothes.)

Guy #1:Hey Amby,you singing tonight?

Amber:As a matter of fact I do.

Guy #2:Hah!You a plank of wood with zero talent.Unlike the gorgeus Luna.I’ve been in love with her ever since she sang at my birthday party.I’m getting excited just thinking about that mismifyng siren.(Yes,he actually said that.)

Amber:*mortified look*

Me:I think the word you’re looking for is “mesmerizing”.

Guy #2: Whatever.Just make our drinks.

(After they left)

Me:I feel tempted to spit in their cups. Should I tell them?

Amber:I have a better plan.

(When she flashes that devilish smile it’s always a good show.After performing her new song,Wich was about standing up for yourself,by the way,she removed her wig,fangs and contacts.)

Amber: I’d like to dedicate this song to[Guy #1 and #2]. I hope you liked the song,you pigs. I’m I still the girl of your dreams -[guy #1]?

(They went beet red and dashed out of the cafe.Almost everyone laughed at them.)

Random customer:What was that all about?

Me:Those two compliment Amber’s alter ego but insult Amber.I think their little bubble just burst.

Random customer:I haven’t seen that kind of speed since my sister’s​ Doberman scared the fur off my cat.