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Unfiltered Story #206176

, | Unfiltered | August 24, 2020

Among other things, our business offers a battery change service for wristwatches, lighters, car remotes etc. These two customers came in on the same day, within hours of each other. The first was an older lady:

Customer 1: Do you have a teeny weeny weeny weeny tiny battery for a watch?

Me: We have about 40 different types of watch battery, do you have the watch with you and I can see what battery it takes.

Customer 1: No I don’t, but it really is a very very small battery.

Me: I’m afraid we have several very small batteries. Without knowing which type it is, I wouldn’t know which one to sell you. You don’t happen to have the number of the battery do you?

Customer 1: No, but it was for a watch that my son bought me for me as a present in the USA

Me: Unfortunately, that doesn’t help me very much. I really need to see the watch before I can advise you.

Customer 1: Do you mean I am going to have to go ALL THE WAY HOME to fetch it?

Me: I’m afraid that’s the only way I’m going to be able to help you.

The customer gives me a disgusted look and leaves. She is back within ten minutes, so it can’t really have been that much of an inconvenience to go and fetch it. The kicker? By no stretch of the imagination could it be described as a ‘ teeny weeny weeny weeny tiny battery’; it was a full three times bigger than the most commonly used battery. In watch battery terms it was enormous.

About an hour later my co-worker was serving a middle-aged gentleman:

Customer 2: I’m looking for a particular battery. I’ll know it when I see it.

My co-worker brings out the various trays of batteries we stock and eventually, after much to-ing and fro-ing they whittle it down to a battery about half the length of a standard AAA-cell

Co-worker: You have to be a bit careful here, because we have two batteries of about that size. One is a 1.5 volt battery but the other is 12 volts. If you use the 12 volt battery where it should be the 1.5 volt one you could damage the device.

Customer 2: I’ve got the number of the battery here somewhere. Would that help?

Co-worker: (Mental facepalm)

Question of the Week

What is the absolute most stupid thing you’ve heard a customer say?

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