20 Crazy Customer Stories To Ring In The Pumpkin Spice Season!

Dear readers,

It’s that time of the year again! The leaves are turning red and falling, there’s a bracing chill in the air, and coffee stores and markets the western hemisphere over will be pungent with the fragrance of pumpkin spice!

Some of you love it, some of you hate it, but regardless of where you land, there are some customers out there who can take the season far too seriously. Here are twenty stories from our archives about pumpkin season, and why it might be more trouble than it’s worth!

A-Paul-ing Service – If you engaged your listening skills, you might get what you ordered.

Just Plain Stealing – Stealing coffee is an especially heinous form of theft.

Your Whipped Got Whupped – Oooh, someone’s feeling spicy!

Getting Pumped Up – Once again, a customer has requested that baristas defy the laws of thermodynamics.

No More Grand Grande Requests – Reasons I’m glad I’m not a barista: exhibit A.

Making A Mocha-ry Of Yourself – Who knew it was possible for more than one person to have the same name?!

Wasn’t Born In The Pumpkin Patch – Hits from the comments: “You know that big, orange vegetable thing that you stab with knives? That.”

Your Inability To Listen Is At Large – I suppose a size “pumpkin” would be large?

They Won’t Stop For Muffin, Part 2 – If only they’d still had pumpkin!

Her Brain Is Made Of Cream – Excuse me while I take a Lactaid pill.

This Customer Is Thankfully Not A Regular – We’re not sure we know what they want, either.

More Leftovers, Less Landfill – Oh, yeah, we’d love a pie made from garbage can pumpkin.

Mocha With An Extra Snot – Don’t you love it when your mom comes to work?

Someone’s Been Pumpkin At The Gym – Pumpkin spice lattes make a girl strong!

The Rules Are Carved In Stone – The cashier’s going to make you eat those words.

The Nightmare Before Halloween – Hits from the comments: “We shall hold the memorial service on October 31. Please bring orange flowers for the casket.”

There’s Madness In The Methodist – Not just a crazy request but a d***ed rude one.

Their Argument Is Groundless – Do they apply this logic on the produce aisle at the grocery store?

Not As Sweet As Pie – Hold on. We’re still cackling over “an old man who looks like he might owe Methuselah some lunch money.”

All Out Of Sorts – Always remember: patience usually saves you the need for it.

We hope you enjoyed this pumpkin-spice flavored roundup! Let us know in the comments if there were any stories we were too lazy to include! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Check out more roundups here to see if you’ve missed any!