Unfiltered Story #199847

I am in a grocery store on a day when the temperatures are in the 90s. I am shirtless, wearing just a pair of shoes and sneakers (the store is shirtless-friendly). A woman comes up to me.

Woman: Where are the jalepenos?

Me: I don’t know, I’m sorry. Try asking that employee.

Woman: No, YOU should show me!

Me: I don’t know where they are.

I walk off. She follows.

Woman: How dare you just walk off! You’re not very helpful! I shall complain to your manager!

Moments later she approaches with a manager.

Woman: I want you to fire him! He was so rude!

Manager: *That’s* who you’re complaining about? He doesn’t work here. He doesn’t even have a shirt on so I don’t see how you could confuse him for one of my employees!

Woman: You’re not gonna fire him?

Manager: He doesn’t work here. Nothing I can do.

The woman starts kicking off so I decide to help the manager out.

Me: Boss, I quit! *winking*

Manager: *catches on* Oh! Right! Good! You’re fired!

I walk off to another aisle and wait until the woman, satisfied that I’d been “fired”, had got her jalepenos and left the store before continuing with my shop. On the way out, the manager laughs and tells me “not to be late for my next shift!”.