Unfiltered Story #198698

(I’m working phone support for a self-publishing company when a man calls in, already yelling at me.)
Me: Thank you for calling [company], this is [name], how can-
Customer: People keep ripping me off!
Me: Excuse me?
Customer: You do eBooks?
Me: Yes, sir, we do eBook conversion as well as distribution.
Customer: I’ve gone to three different companies for my book, and they’ve all taken my money and not done the work! It’s completely ridiculous that I should have to pay for the service before it’s provided! There’s no reason anyone would give me what I paid for!
Me: Well, sir, we do ask for payment ahead of time, but we have a money back guarante-
Customer: They all just ripped me off! I should be able to pay half up front and half later. Or I get the converted eBook first and then I pay for it.
Me: Sir, typically that doesn’t happen because then there’s no guarantee that the customer would pay for what they received.
Customer: I don’t care! I was ripped off!
Me: I’m sorry that happened to you, sir, but as those instances didn’t happen with our company I’m not sure how I can help you with them. I can guarantee that we’ll be able to provide you with the service that you’re looking for, but-
Customer: What I need is to not pay up front for anything.
(He proceeds to rant about payment up front for about ten minutes. I can’t get a word in edgewise, and I can’t hang up on him as it’s policy not to without good reason. Finally, he asks the question he wanted to ask from the start.)
Customer: Now tell me, . Can you give me what I’m looking for? Can you give me the service I’m looking for without stealing my money first?
Me: Sir, we do require payment upfront, but we guarantee our work and I assure you that we-
Customer: OH FORGET IT! (hangs up)
(I’m still not sure why he didn’t just ask that from the start and end the conversation quickly.)