Unfiltered Story #197565

Caller: Hi I need to update software on my computer.
Me: Okay, you probably need to get a reimage. Are you on campus?
Caller: No
Me: …Are you in town?
Caller: I’m a remote learning student.
Me: Oookkaay… Well sometimes we do mail ins. You’re not a grad student, right?
Caller: I’m a grad student.
Me: Oh, uh, well… We don’t do software support for grad students.
Caller: I need this to do my homework.
Me: Hasn’t the professor given you software download information?
Caller: No.
Me: Okay, so what exactly is the problem?
Caller: I need the new OS to run this software.
Me: You should just be able to do that through normal Mac updates?
Caller: I can’t.
Me: … Okay… Um… Go to this site. “Apple dot com slash mac os…” You following me?
Caller: Yes.
Me: “slash how dash to dash upgrade.” Enter. You there?
Caller: …What was the address?
Me: *I repeat it and try not to sigh in frustration*
Caller: *long pause* It’s not working.
Me: Well what version of Mac are you on?
Caller: 10.5
Me: Ten… point… five??
(The rest of the world is on 10.11)
Me: Well… You’re gonna have to BUY snow leopard first.
Caller: How do I do that.
Me: Okay. Go to google. Type in Mac. OS. Snow. Leopard. Have you done that
Caller: *long pause* Yes
Me: Do you see the first one that is at apple-dot-com?
Caller: *long pause* Yes.
Me: It’s that one. Do you need anything else?
Caller: Can I get software from you guys?
Me: No, we don’t support grad student computers.
Caller: I thought you sold Windows Office suite.
Me: …. That’s Student Business Services.
Finally he lets me hang up. Two of my coworkers, who came in twenty minutes ago to replace me after my shift ended, both look over to me at the same time.
Coworker 1: You were stuck on that call this whole time?
Me: Yep.
Coworker 2: He didn’t even have snow leopard???
Me: Yep.