Unfiltered Story #195920

, , | Unfiltered | June 7, 2020

(I work at a gas station that is part of a larger store, but is across the parking lot in its own building. It’s a quiet night. I’m talking with a coworker when I hear something in the distance that sounds like shouting. Curious, I look out the window to see a scruffy looking man in a brown trench coat walking across the parking lot towards our gas station while screaming “AAAAAAAAAAAAH!”. Before I can question what the hell is going on, the phone rings. I answer.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Gas Station], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hey, this is [Name] up in [Store] Security. Is there a man in a trench coat down there?”

[Trench coat dude stops shouting “AAAAAH!” as he reaches our door.]

Me: “Yes. . .?”

Caller: “. . .We’ll be right there.” *hangs up*

(At this point I’m worried. The strange man approaches the counter before I can warn my coworker, who is working the register.)

Trench Coat Guy: “Good evening. Can I have a pack of [Cigarettes]?”

(My coworker rings him up.)

Trench Coat Guy: “Hey, you gotta watch out for those flying cars, man. They’ll getchya. THEY’RE WATCHING. Knock three times!”

(The strange man then proceeds to the bathroom and locks the door)

Coworker: “. . .What the f***?”

(We can smell cigarette smoke coming from the bathroom. Suddenly we hear the guy POUNDING on something in there, and he screams “MY UNDERWARE IS IN RHODE ISLAND!!!!!!!! AAAAAAH!!!”.)

(At this point, security finally shows up and promptly arrests him for trespassing. Apparently he was a homeless man who often slept in the parking lot. He had been harassing people in the main store before they kicked him out.

Along with smoking in our bathroom, he also straight up took a dump on the floor, which I had to clean.

About a year later, he returned. I promptly called the police. He was once again arrested for tresspassing. And thus ends the tale of the Strange Man in a Trench Coat.)