Unfiltered Story #194375

, , , | Unfiltered | May 16, 2020

I worked as manager for a company providing reporting help to Fortune 500 companies.

We had a client complain that a report was never completing, when it worked fine before. I had them sent me the code. After looking at it, we called them.

Me: About this report you are doing, it is impossible. The logic is flawed. It won’t give you good answers.

Them: But it did!

Me: You are just joining every record in one table to an unrelated table, you will get bad answers! Do you want us to re-write this for you?

Them: No!! We like this report!! Just make it work!

Me: Well, you may have to get your DBA to make system diagnosis reports and system changes so you can run it.

DBA: I don’t know how to.

Despite my policy of never logging into a customer’s computer, the founder of the company(!!) had to log in and try to make their computer effient enough to run this crazy report. I don’t think he ever did.