Unfiltered Story #192198

(A customer picks up their business cards)

Customer: These are crap!

Me: What’s wrong with them?

Customer: The paper is too flimsy!

Me: (grabbing it) Hmm, that’s our standard business card paper.

Customer: It’s so flimsy! This is so unprofessional! Look at my old cards! (holds them out and flicks the paper to show how sturdy it is) See how good these ones are!?

Me: those ones were most likely done through a third party. We can order some for you, but they’ll be more expensive than these ones.

Customer: These cards are crap! Don’t you have any other paper!?

Me: No, nothing in store that’s thicker. (I grab one of our own cards) see, even our cards are on the same kind of paper.

Customer: well it’s crap!

Me: Do you want to order from a different company?

Customer: Don’t you have glossy paper!?

Me: Yes, but it’s not much different. (I grab the glossy stock and hand it to her)

Customer: This is WAY better!

Me: Um, ok. (it’s slightly thicker but really and truly, it’s almost exactly the same) Do you want me to just reorder them in the glossy stock, then?

Customer: The matte paper is crap!

Me: Right, so would you like me to reorder them in the glossy stock, since you liked that one better? Redo orders are always rush priority.

Customer: Have you felt this matte paper? It’s crap!

Me: I understand. Since you’re not happy with the matte stock, I can request a redo for you, and have them do it on the gloss.

Customer: I can’t believe you even sell business cards on this paper! It’s so flimsy!

Me: What would you like me to do then? I said that I can make you new ones on the stock you prefer.

Customer: Yes! Order me new ones!