Unfiltered Story #190116

, , , | Unfiltered | March 17, 2020

(A tow truck driver has come to take away a car with a bad transmission that the customer is not fixing. He pulls into the middle of the service drive, and we arrange for a porter to help him locate and load the car. He’s standing and waiting, then pokes his head into the office area to ask a question.)

Driver: You know that gate back there?

(Our service driveway comes in off the main street and is huge and wide and straight, running the length of the property all the way to a massive gate out to the back road.)

Me: Yes?
Driver: How do I get there?
Me: Uhm..

(I think he must be talking about another gate I have somehow not noticed in my year and a half of working here. I get out of my chair and go stand with him by his tow truck, looking down the massive long wide driveway and the straight shot out to the gate. It’s the only gate. I point down the unobstructed path.)

Me: That gate?
Him: Yeah!

(Later I’m telling my coworkers about this, and they all laugh. One has to ask:)

Coworker #1: So what did you say? ‘Well, you take the gearshift and put it in drive..’
Me: I wanted to say ‘Uhm.. Just drive?’ Or reverse, I guess, since his nose was facing [main street]. But it seemed too smartassy and rude. I don’t want to be a jerk, even if he’s dumb! But my brain kind of locked up a little and I couldn’t think of a polite way to answer his question. So I just answered a question he didn’t ask, in a way that answered the question he DID ask. I told him, ‘Oh yeah, if you drive down and go out that gate, you can just turn right then left then right and you’re facing [main street] again.’ Which seemed to work because.. He drove. Down the driveway. To the gate.
Coworker #2: And he DIDN’T GET LOST? Good thing he asked for those directions!
Me: I just don’t know what he was expecting! ‘Oh gee, good thing you asked, you must have noticed our cunningly disguised pit trap right in the middle of the one open path down the lot! Now I’ll give you the secret instructions!’
Coworker #1: ‘You gotta reeeeeeally gun it to jump the tow truck over it, or else the gators’ll getcha!’

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