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19 Epic Stories About Middle Earth And The Nerds Who Reside There

| Right | September 2, 2022

Dear readers,

It has been twenty-one years since Peter Jackson’s adaptation of The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring first hit theaters. (And doesn’t that make us feel old!) This week, showrunners J.D. Payne and Patrick McKay invite us to return to the land of elves and wizards and hobbits with a new series based on J.R.R. Tolkien’s lore, The Lord Of The Rings: The Rings Of Power. We know there are a lot of mixed feelings out there about this new adaptation, but this particular editor is just stoked as heck to have an excuse to read a bunch of LOTR-themed stories and make this roundup!

In honor of this return to Middle Earth, we’ve rounded up 19 stories from our archives (one for each of the Rings Of Power!) about The Lord Of The Rings!


Pee, You Fools! – I’m just cackling picturing Ian McKellen calling someone “bro”.

You Shall Not Pass This Iceberg – I guess Caradhras does sort of look like an iceberg…

It’s Neny-a Business – The only thing we hate more than Nazgûl is people who gatekeep fandoms.

They Weren’t Alpha-Betting On That Happening Today – Hits from the comments: “The reaction of the coworker was not recorded, so I shall just assume they took the barista’s snub in their Strider.”

One Lie To Ruin It All – I mean, there is that one scene in Torech Ungol…

One Review To Rule Them All – Hits from the comments: “How did you miss all the times they were walking?”

This Story In The Night Time Bound Them – Just wait until he sees the movies and hears them.

One Ring To Ruin Them All – Common interest is important when forming a relationship — or a fellowship, if you will.

Ired By Shire Attire – Hits from the movies: “You can’t go walking through Mordor in naught but your skin.”

They’re Behind The ‘Shall Not Pass’ – Hits from the movies: “What’s this? A ranger caught off his guard?”

One Ring To Rule Her All – Wow. When this guy gets ready to commit, he commits.

One Does Not Simply Quaff Into Mordor – Ah, yes, the big baddies: Sauron, Saruman, Sméagol, and Syrah.

One Ring To Confuse Them All – Maybe if they all wore jerseys or something…

The Fellowship Of The Night Shift – It’s been fifteen years and I still can’t get that remix out of my head!

Precious Family Moments – Boil ’em, mash ’em, learn to count to four…

Shouldn’t That Be Dwarf? – But Tom Cruise is already… never mind.

Run, Frodo, Run! – The “One does not simply walk…” jokes write themselves!

A Frodo Dodo – Does anyone else remember “The Very Secret Diaries” slash-fiction series from back in the day?

Bumble-Dore – At least she didn’t think he was Santa Claus…


We hope you enjoyed this one Lord Of The Rings-themed roundup to rule them all! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

14 Hilarious Stories About Some People’s Strange Relationship With Tolkien


11 Stories About What It Used To Be Like Renting Movies

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