Unfiltered Story #188420

Sometimes we have really great days and fun calls. Others sometimes get like this.
Me: Good afternoon, tech support. This is (my name). May I have your company name and your name please?
Caller: Why do you need my company name?
Me: Sir, our support line is dedicated for use by our authorized distributors.
Caller: Oh, ok. (he provides me with the company name, and it is one of our authorized distributors).
Me: Thank you, now may I please have your name?
Caller: Why do you need my name?
Me: We are only allowed to speak with individuals specifically on the list, sir.
Caller: Oh. Who do you have on that list?
Me: Sorry, sir, but I am not allowed to give out that information. May I please have your name?
Caller: Oh. My name is (gives me a name and he is on the list).
Me: Thank you sir, now may I please have your passcode?
Caller: What’s that?
Me: Sir, that’s what your company told you to tell us if you need our support?
Caller: Oh, OK. It’s (gives me the correct code).
Me: Thank you sir, now how may I help you?
Caller: Yeah. My boss sent me out here to change the programming on this panel.
Me: OK, (name), what panel is it?
Caller: Oh, I dunno. The labels inside the can give a whole bunch of part numbers.
Me: See if there is any text silkscreened on the CPU board?
Caller: Which one is that?
At this point, I can tell he has never seen this panel before. Oh the joy!
Me: Normally it is the top chassis row, all the way to the left.
Caller: OK. Is it (gives a part number and it is valid)?
Me: Great! OK, so what do you need to do?
Caller: I need to make (names an auxiliary panel that interfaces with the system) work.
Me: OK, do you know what devices you are interfacing with?
Caller: No. I thought you would.
Me: No, (name), we don’t have a record of how each panel is installed and programmed by our customers. Did they give you any idea of what the panel is doing?
Caller: No.
Me: Do you have (named the programming software he will need) on your computer?
Caller: No. Will it install on my Windows NT system?
This was in 2015, mind you.
Me: No sir, you need at least Windows 7 to run this.
Caller: Where am I gonna get a Windows 7 computer? Can I upgrade this computer for that?
Me: Not likely. You’ll need to speak with your boss about getting you the correct computer. Also, have you attended a training class recently?
Caller: No, why?
Me: You will need that to get a license for the software.
Caller: inaudible mutter. OK. Guess that’s all I can do for now. (hangs up)