Unfiltered Story #186990

(I’m at a food court waiting to collect an order I’d placed over the phone. There are 3-4 packets of food awaiting collection; the vendor is serving the person ahead of me. A large, overweight woman in her mid-thirties with her hair bunned up in a style more appropriate for a 2-year-old is behind me).

Woman (in a high, screechy voice): Is that mine? (pointing to a packet that the vendor is preparing). If so, don’t add the spring onions.

Vendor: No, yours is already packed. (Indicates one of the packets).

Woman: Oh no, I forgot to tell you not to add spring onions.

(She then proceeds to grab my shoulders dramatically, as if overcome with sadness, and started FAKE CRYING. In her extremely loud, screechy voice. I’m frozen in surprise and embarrassment.)

Woman: UHHHHH-HUHHHH-HUHHH-HUHHH, I don’t want spring onions, I don’t want spring onions!!!!!

(The entire line of people, and there were a lot of them, turns to gawp at this lunatic. And, unfortunately, at me, thinking that we’re friends. The vendor looks embarrassed and pretends not to notice).

Woman (getting, if possible even louder): UHHHHH-HUHHHH-HUHHH-HUHHH!!!!!!!!

(At this point, I bolt. Later, I found out that this woman likes to act like a little kid, thinking that her plumpness and voice made her look cute – hence the hair and crying. She was not mentally disabled in the least, but pulled the little-kid act when she wanted her own way in anything.)