Unfiltered Story #184481

I’m the customer in this one. I fumble a coin in my kitchen and it rolls under the stove. Shining my flashlight under the stove to find it, I’m mortified to see the body of a mouse, staring glassy-eyed back at me. I call a pest control company and the exterminator arrives the next morning.
Exterminator: “So, I’ll just check under your stove, get rid of the dead rodent, and I’ll check for signs of any current infestation.”
Me (as the exterminator looks under the stove): “Thank you. I try to keep things clean, and I worry about my little boy crawling around on the floor when there’s-”
Exterminator: “Sir?”
Me: (surprised at being interrupted) “Yes?”
Exterminator: “Here’s your mouse.”
He holds up a little cat toy — a cloth mouse, complete with shiny little plastic eyes.
Me: “How much do I owe you for the trip? And how much extra to never, ever, speak of this again?”