Unfiltered Story #182195

(I work as a cashier at a grocery store. Every saturday morning, like clockwork, a man would come in and buy a ton of cucumbers and zucchini, a ton of knitting magazines… and a single jar of vasoline. Every single week he’d come in and buy the same thing. One week I decide to ask him about it.)

Me: (As I’m ringing him up) “So what do you do with all this zucchini?”

Man: “Oh you know, I just steam it. It’s really good for you.”

(I’m pretty sure his mouth isn’t exactly where all those cucumbers are going.)