Unfiltered Story #181219

(I was a barista at a major coffee chain, working the bar at a somewhat slow period- we had a lot of people in the cafe but very few in line. I was making drinks at the espresso bar while chatting with a regular customer when some lady shoves herself in between us and starts yelling. For the record, she’d made no previous attempt to get anyone’s attention, simply stood up from her table and barged over.)

Angry lady: “I order a CHOCOLATE cookie!” *shoves pastry bag in my face*

I look in the bag and it is indeed a solid chocolate cookie.

Me: *confused but polite* “…. this is a chocolate cookie.”

Angry lady: “No this is NOT what I ordered! *continues to rant about how incompetent our staff is*

It took me a minute but I’m pretty used to dealing with customers who don’t make any sense at this point.

Me: “OHHH you want the chocolate chip cookie!”

Angry lady: “YES and I want it NOW. This is ridiculous! I’ve already waited too long for anyone’s help!”

Five years working with people like this and I know exactly how to deal with them- be polite, give them what they want but take as loooong as humanly possible without looking like you’re dragging your feet.

Me: “Well I’m happy to help you with that. I’m making a drink right now but I’ll have someone else get your cookie for you.” *finishes drink I’m making and waits for the cashier to ring up the couple customers in line* “Hey, [coworker]! Can I get a chocolate chip cookie please?”

Coworker: “Sure, did you want that heated?”

Me: *MEGA POLITE* “Ma’am, did you want your cookie heated?”

Angry lady: *about to pass out from the amount of blood rushing to her head* “NO!!!”

I hand her her cookie. She storms off. I smile triumphantly.

Regular customer: “WOOOW, what a b****!”