Unfiltered Story #178396

, , | Unfiltered | November 29, 2019

(It’s almost closing time and I’m the only cashier on duty. A customer comes up and I recognize him as the current boyfriend of a girl I used to go out with. As I scan the greeting card he’s buying, I notice what it says.)

Me: Uh, dude, you know she’s turning 18 tomorrow and not 17, right?

(The customer squints at me and my nametag, then raises his eyebrows in realization.)

Customer: Oh, it’s you! Don’t bull**** me, man. We’ve been together for like a month and she’s not taking you back or anything. Just ring me up. I’ve got a nice dinner planned at [local Italian restaurant] and everything. Doing it right.

Me: Just trying to help. Best of luck with that, though. Have a good night!

Customer: Oh, you know I will!

(The next night is slow and I’m the only cashier again. The same customer comes through my line, tomato sauce all over his shirt. I suppress a smile and scan his items: an “I’m Sorry” card and a bouquet of flowers.)

Me: I was right, wasn’t I?

Customer: Yeah, and the b**** pulled a total Jekyll & Hyde on me! She flipped out, threw her plate at me and then tried to stab me with a godd*** fork! Is this why you stopped going out with her??

Me: Well, let’s just say it was mutual: I forgot her cat’s name, so she tried to shove me out of a moving car. That was enough for me. Best of luck with that, though. Have a good night!