(I’m at a house party when a long-time acquaintance walks up. I’ve known him since I was 15, and he’s been wanting to have an inappropriate relationship with me. I’m in my mid-40s when this conversation takes place. He is wearing a lifting brace with the logo for Snap-On Tools on the back.)
Me: “Is your back bothering you?”
Acquaintance: “Yes.”
Me: “I hope your back will get better real soon.”
Acquaintance: “I’m the only guy here who can say I have a snap-on tool.”
Me: *in a really loud voice* “[Acquaintance]! I didn’t know it was that short!”
(He left the party shortly after that.)