Unfiltered Story #177158

, , | Unfiltered | November 12, 2019

(This was a few years ago. I worked at a popular sandwich shop. I was at the condiments area when one of my friends walks in wearing a sweater, khakis, and loafers. Mind you, we had gotten into a fight earlier that day.)

Coworker: “Hi, welcome to (shop), what can I get for you today?”

Friend: (In Mr. Rogers voice) “I’ll have a Chicken Bacon Ranch sub, neighbor.”

(She finishes putting all the ingredients on the sub and he gets over to me.)

Me: “What kind of condiments you want on this?”

Friend: (Still in the Mr. Rogers voice.) “Everyone can use a little more mayonnaise in their life, Neighbor.”

(I put on the standard amount of mayonnaise.)

Friend: “More please.” (I put some more on) “More.” (I put even more on) “Mooooorree.”

(I end up putting about half a bottle of mayonnaise on the sub. He sits down and uncovers it. The thing is trashed with mayo. Everyone else in the shop was just staring at him. He then proceeded to slam his face repeatedly into the sub, flinging mayonnaise everywhere. Then he stood up, launching his chair backwards, and shouted…)

Friend: IT’S SUCH A GOOD FEELING! A VERY GOOD FEELING! THE KIND OF FEELING WHEN YOU KNOW WE ARE…(Stops and approaching me. Now whispering.) Friends.

(He left, still covered in mayo. I quit the next day.)