17 Real-Life Outrageous Reasons For A Refund (And One That Deserved One)

| | Right | April 25, 2016
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#1: Because You’re A Scamming Time Traveler:

(A customer places a heavy box on the counter.)

Customer: “I want a refund on this.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, we usually can only do exchanges on opened merchandise.”

Customer: “I don’t want an exchange. I want a refund!”

Me: “May I ask why?”

Customer: “I bought this here last week, and the item is missing.”

(I try to pick up the box. It weighs many times more than it should.)

Customer: “It was all full up with bricks and newspaper!”

Me: “That’s terrible. If you give me your receipt I will start processing your refund.”

(The customer digs through her purse for her receipt. Meanwhile, I look through the box and verify that it is filled with bricks and crumpled-up newspaper. I examine her receipt which is, in fact, from last week. Then, I take a closer look at several pages of the newspaper.)

Me: “Ma’am, so you bought this last week, and it was filled with bricks and yesterday’s newspaper?”

Customer: “Uh…I’ll take an exchange, please.”

Original Story

 

#2: Because The Power Of God Demands It:

(This happens while I am working at a Christian book store that also sells other “Christian” items. This particular incident involves a customer’s dissatisfaction with a child’s toy called the “Armor of God”, which includes a sword, a shield, and armor.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [store]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Hello, I would like a refund for a toy I bought my son last week called the ‘Armor of God’.”

Me: “I can help you with that. Can I please have the order number?”

Caller: “Yes, the order number is ########.”

Me: “Now, was the item defective or damaged in any way, or are you simply dissatisfied with the product?”

Caller: “The toy is possessed.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: “The moment my son put on the armor he started screaming and running around attacking everything with the sword. The toy is possessed and I want a full refund. Frankly I’m shocked that a store advertising Christian products would sell something like this!”

Me: “Okay, well, if you box up the items, I can send you a return shipping label. When the toy arrives at our warehouse you will receive a full refund.”

Caller: “You want it back?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I can’t give you a refund unless the item is returned.”

Caller: “I’m afraid that’s impossible.”

Me: “Has the toy been damaged in some way?”

Caller: “No, I buried it.”

Me: “What?”

Caller: “It was possessed by a demon, so I buried it.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but if that’s the case, I’m afraid I cannot give you a refund.”

Caller: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, you buried the toy in the ground. You’re refusing to return it and the toy is ruined anyway. Per company policy, I cannot give you a refund.”

Caller: “Are you serious? First, you sell me a possessed toy, putting my family in danger, and now you refuse to give me my money back? I demand to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am, but first have you considered that possibly the toy isn’t possessed and that your son was just play fighting?”

Caller: “How dare you! Do you think I don’t know the difference? Do you think I’m lying? My son has never acted this way before. The toy is possessed and I am owed a refund. I demand to speak to your manager! I have never been so insulted!”

Me: “Let me place you on hold while I transfer you to my supervisor…”

Original Story

 

#3: Because They Cannot Follow Instructions:

(One customer complains about a game that is not giving tickets. Upon looking at the game, I discover that a fuse is blown. I place several “Out of Order” stickers over the coin slot and refund the customer. Two minutes later another customer approaches.)

Customer: “I just put a coin in this game and won tickets but none came out.”

Me: “I placed an ‘Out of Order’ sticker on the coin slot. Is it not on there anymore?”

Customer: “You mean these? They were in the way so I removed them. Can I get a refund?”

Original Story

#4: Because They Are Too Dumb To Listen:

(I had a bag of large crystal beads salvaged from a chandelier. The beads were the size of my palm and very heavy. As I put them away in one of my bead boxes, a teenage girl walked up to my booth at a craft fair.)

Girl: “Hi! I love your stuff! Do you do custom orders?”

Me: “Yes, I do! Here, look through some of these bead boxes and tell me what you like.”

Girl: “Okay!”

(She looks though some boxes and gasps as she discovers the large crystal beads.)

Girl: “I love these! Can you make a pair of earrings with these?!”

Me: “Oh! Ha ha, those beads are for a lamp I’m making. They’re too heavy to use as earrings. May I interest you in a much smaller and lighter version of those beads?”

Girl: “NO! I want these! They’re so pretty and…bling-bling!”

Me: “Your piercings would sag if you wore those. Let me–”

Girl: “No! I’m the customer and this is what I want!”

Me: *sighing* “Fine. Come back in a few minutes, and I’ll have them done. It’ll be $12.”

(The girl looks at some other booths while I make her earrings. She returns, asks for her earrings, and pays for them.)

Girl: *putting on earrings “I love them! Thank you so much!”

Me: “Okay. Thank you, and remember what I said about the beads.”

Girl: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. The beads are like crazy light!”

(The girl leaves, looking ridiculous with the earrings, but then returns about half an hour later.)

Girl: “My ears are killing me!”

Me: “I told you the beads were too heavy, but you still wanted them!”

Girl: “It’s not the beads, it’s the wire! I must be allergic to it.”

Me: “There’s no need to yell. I use hypoallergenic materials in all my pieces. There’s no way you can be allergic to it. It’s because the beads are too heavy. I can give you a refund, but you have to give me the earrings back.”

Girl: “No! It must be the glass, then. I’m allergic to the glass! What kind of glass is this?”

Me: “…allergic to glass? Have you ever heard of the phrase ‘with beauty comes pain’? Well, this explains it.”

Girl: “Oh! I get it now! Wow, if it hurts this much I must look A-MA-ZING! *skips off*

Original Sto

#5: Because You Have No Idea How Pokemon Works

(Note: Pokemon is a game with various creatures that simulate animals in it. When a Pokemon has no hit points, or HP, is is considered “fainted.” Many mistake this for something serious, but it is easily remedied by healing your Pokemon in a specific building.)

Customer: *storms up to desk* “I DEMAND A REFUND!”

(She slams a copy of Pokemon Platinum on the counter.)

Me: “Certainly, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “My freaking fire monkey DIED! See?”

(She pulls the DS from her pocket, turns it on, enters game, and shows me that her Pokemon [a chimchar] has no HP.)

Me: “Well, I can…erm…revive your ‘fire monkey’ if you’d like.”

Customer: “What are you, some freaking Pokemon priest?! MY FIRE MONKEY IS DEAD!”

Me: “No, no, look.”

(I control her character to go to a Pokemon Center and heal up her Pokemon.)

Me: “There, all better.”

Customer: “THANK YOU! YOU SAVED MY FIRE MONKEY! HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU?!”

Me: “Um…no problem, ma’am. Glad to help.”

Customer: “AND SO HUMBLE! YOU SAVED MY FIRE MONKEY!” *leaves store*

Original Story

#6: Because You Had To Listen To Steve:

(A customer approaches me with a new Blu-ray movie.)

Me: “Ah. Blu-ray is a great choice, it looks amazing.”

Customer: “Great! I’m so excited to watch my first Blu-ray. We just setup the PVR this morning.”

Me: “PVR?”

Customer: “Yeah our PVR machine to watch Blu-rays.”

Me: “I’m hate to say this, but PVR’s don’t play Blu-rays. They record live television.”

Customer: *rolls eyes* “Yes, but they play Blu-rays as well!”

Me: “I am sorry, but they don’t. If you buy this, open up the movie and then figure out that your machine won’t play it then I can’t give you a refund. I can’t do refunds on new products that are opened.”

Customer: “Don’t treat me like I’m an idiot, and don’t threaten me! I know this plays Blu-rays! My friend Steve told it does, and he used to work for a major retailer.”

Me: “Okay, I will. Just to ask, where is the disc tray on your PVR?”

Customer: *thinks* “You know, on second thought, Steve also got fired for fraud.”

Original Story:

 

#7: Because You’re A Lawyer, Attorney General, Board Member, The Owner’s Nephew, But Not A Warranty Expert:

(A customer is requesting a refund on a computer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I cannot give you a refund on your computer.”

Customer: “What?! Why the not?!”

Me: “You don’t have a receipt. It’s two years old, and long out of warranty.”

Customer: “I’ll have you know, I’m a lawyer and I could sue you for everything you’ve got!”

Me: “We only have a 30 day refund policy. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I’m an assistant attorney general, and I will have you reported! This is an outrage!”

Me: “Okay, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Don’t you take that tone with me! I’m a board member of this chain, and you need to serve me!”

Me: “If there is nothing else, I’m going to have to ask you to remove your device and leave.”

Customer: “You can’t tell me to leave! I’m the owner’s nephew!”

Me: “Please calm down and leave.”

Customer: “Do you have any idea who I am?!”

Me: “Do you?”

Original Story

 

#8: Because You Don’t Understand How Life Works:

(A young woman approaches the front register with a dead Siamese fighting fish in a cup.)

Customer: “I want a refund on my fish. All the fish I buy here keep dying! This is my 3rd replacement. I don’t understand what could be wrong except that you sell sick fish!”

Me: “I’m very sorry for that miss. I assure you we give all of our animals, including our fish, excellent care. Could you describe to me anything you noticed wrong with your fish before it passed away?”

Customer: “Well when I first get one it’s completely fine. I change the water once a week, add water conditioner, and it seems happy and healthy. Then, after a couple of weeks it starts looking really sickly and one day it just dies for no apparent reason.”

Me: “Ok, well what were you feeding it? Was it eating well?”

Customer:“Feeding it? These kind of fish eat?”

Me: “Yes of course they do. Everything needs to eat.”

Customer: “Wow, really?! I thought they just ate the water.”

Original Story

#8A: Or Plant-Life, For That Matter:

(A customer walks up with a dead, five foot tall maple sapling at the garden center where I work. It has been cut with a handsaw and has obviously been dead for a least three or four months.)

Customer: “I want a refund! You sold me this tree last summer, but in November the leaves all turned yellow, dried out, and fell off. I want a refund!”

Me: “So, in autumn your tree lost its leaves?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Sir, broad leaf trees in Canada like this do lose their leaves in the fall and then grow back in the spring. Your tree was just dormant for the winter.”

Customer: “But after the leaves all fell off, I put it in the garage! Now it’s spring, and the leaves aren’t growing back, so it must be defective. I want a refund NOW!”

Me: “When you put your tree into your garage in the fall, how did you get it in there?”

Customer: “I cut it!”

Me: “So, you cut it down and now you want a refund because it’s dead?”

Customer: “I want to speak to the owner!”

(I call the owner, who is a hard-nosed woman in her sixties.)

Owner: “What seems to be the problem sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, this tree you sold me last year is dead. I want a refund.”

Owner: “Was it alive before you put a saw to it?”

Customer: “Well, it was, and then in November all of the leaves turned yellow and fell off, so I cut it and put it in my garage. Now I want a refund!”

Owner: “Get out of here!”

Original Story

 

#8B: …Or The Creation Of New Life:

Me: “Hi, how are you? How may I help you?”

Lady: “Yes, I’d like return this pregnancy test.”

Me: “Okay, what’s wrong with it?”

Lady: “It came out positive.”

Me: *confused* “Okay?”

Lady: “I can’t be pregnant, so this test MUST be defective. I want to return it.”

(For anyone who doesn’t know, it is very rare for a pregnancy test to mistake a positive pregnancy. A negative, yes, positive, no.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you can’t return a pregnancy test you’ve already used.

Lady: What do you mean I can’t return it?!? It’s wrong! I want to see your manager!”

(So I go to the back to see my manager who is a woman, and explain about the lady. We return to the front.)

Manager: “Hello, what may I help you with?”

Lady: “YES! I want to return this pregnancy test! It came out positive and I just can’t be pregnant! It’s wrong and I want my money back!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. We can’t refund you on the test because it came out positive.”

Lady: “NO! I insist I get my money back!”

Manager, getting frustrated: “Ma’am! I’m sorry but we cannot and will not refund you your money just because it came out positive. Congratulations on your new baby!”

Original Story

 

#9: Because You Would Risk Prison Due To An Overabundance Of Sauce:

(I walk in and stand in a line. I’ve been there for all of five seconds before a man runs in, elbows his way to the front of the queue and slams a burger in front of the cashier. She is a young teenager.)

Customer: “You f***ing b****! How many f***ing times do I have to tell you no f***ing sauce?!”

Cashier: *smiling all the way through the exchange* “I’m sorry sir, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “You f***ing up my burger! I want a refund now!”

Cashier: “Certainly, sir! Do you remember what time you came in at?”

Customer: “How am I supposed to f***ing know? You’re the one who took the d*** order!”

Cashier: “I’ll have a look, sir, if you give me one moment.”

(She taps her screen, all the while being yelled abuse at by the customer. All the other customers have since cleared out, except for me. I motion to the cashier that I’ve called the police.)

Cashier: “Hm…oh, is this your order?” *rattles off a few items*

Customer: “Yes, that’s my d*** order! Now give me my f***ing refund!”

Cashier: “Certainly, sir, let me just authorise that for you.”

(She taps on her screen some more and swipes a card a few times.)

Customer: “F***ing hurry up, you b****! My f***ing dinner’s getting cold!”

Cashier: “My apologies sir, give me one moment. Would you like me to give you a fresh order?”

Customer: “You’d better, you b****!”

Cashier: *hands customer his refunded money* “Okay, it’ll be three minutes to cook your order so if you’d like to sit down-”

(At this point the man throws the money he’s just been given at the cashier and screams abuse at her. She picks up the change and counts it.)

Cashier: “Your change comes up to £3.71, which is just enough for another meal. Which one would you like?”

Customer: “Would you just hurry up and give me my d*** food! Are you f***ing simple or something?”

Cashier: “No, just distracting you ’till the police get here.”

(Two uniformed police officers walk in and take the man away, who is still cursing. The manager walks out of a side room which he has been hiding in–he’s about thirty and male–and offers her a promotion on the spot. She promptly tells him that she’d rather die than be spineless like him and quits. She then pockets the change, grabs most of the food on display and leaves, but not before thanking me and sharing half the food with me.)

Original Story

#10: Because You’re Allergic To Anything Too Plain:

(I had helped a customer adopt an adorable short-haired tabby. A few days later, she comes back.)

Customer: “I’d like to exchange this cat. I’m allergic.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We can give you a voucher and you’re more than welcome to look at the puppies we have up for adoption.”

Customer: “No, no. I’d like another cat. A long-hair.”

Me: “You’re allergic though. We can’t adopt more cats to you if you’re just going to bring them back.”

Customer: “You misunderstood. I’m allergic to this one because it’s not–”

(At this point she waves her hand in front of her face.)

Me: “Fancy.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “It’s just such a boring looking cat. I’d prefer something a little more fancy.”

(She waves her hand in front of her face again. At this point I’m trying really hard not to laugh.)

Customer: “Do you have any exotic *hand wave* cats? Anything *hand wave* fancy? Perhaps a Persian? I wouldn’t be allergic to that. Or maybe a Siamese? I’m not allergic to *hand wave* fancy cats.”

(We ended up taking the kitten back and giving her a refund, but she is eternally barred from adopting cats from us.)

Original Story

 

#11: Because You Think Tea Will Help You ‘Down There’:

(At our store, we sell individual tea bags for fifty cents each. Free hot tap water and a foam cup come with each bag sold. One customer, a man in his thirties, has been coming in and buying a single bag of tea every Sunday for two years, but he never takes the water or the cup.)

Customer: “I’d like a refund of $50 please.”

Me: “We don’t sell anything that expensive.”

Customer: “Well, I bought 100 of those herbal mixes and they haven’t done a d*** thing.”

Me: “You mean the tea you buy every week?”

Customer: “No, the herbal mixes in the little yellow packets.”

Me: “Yes, that’s tea.”

Customer: “You mean it won’t make my man parts larger?”

Me: “No, it’s a beverage.”

Customer: “Oh. Never mind, then.”

(He leaves, disappointed. I never saw him again.)

Original Story

 

#12: Because Even When You Get The Last Word You Screw It Up:

(I work as a cashier at a well known retail store. Sometimes we get customers who take “customer is always right” to a whole new level.)

Me: “So, how did you find everything today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Terrible. I would like to return this bra I purchased recently. It just doesn’t fit right.”

Me: “Alright then, I just need your receipt and the item.”

(The customer hands items over and I look over the receipt. Note, our company has a quite a long term for returns and exchanges, but this customer is way past that point.)

Me: “Uh, ma’am, I’m sorry but you’ve exceeded our 90 day returns and exchange policy. I cannot give you a refund for this item.”

Customer: *outraged* “What?! I bought this just last week! You people sized me wrong! It doesn’t fit me and I refuse to wear a bra that doesn’t fit me properly! I am the customer and you have to do what I say!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can give you a store credit for it. I just need to examine the bra.”

(I take out the clearly used bra and look it over.)

Me: “Okay, if you can just give me a second, I need my manager to verify this for me.”

Customer: “If you must.”

(I go get my manager and tell her the situation. Normally we do not accept refunds on items that have been used, especially if they are past the 90 days term.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot accept this item to be returned. It’s clearly been worn and it’s certainly past your exchange and return period.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Did she tell you that? She’s lying. I bought this last week and I never wore it! It doesn’t fit right! I am the customer! Do as I say or I’ll have my lawyer come in and have you both prostituted!”

Original Story

 

#13: Because You Have Major Memory Problems:

(A customer comes in trying to return a camera with no receipt. After I tell her I will not be doing the refund, she demands a manager.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Your store ruined my daughter’s graduation! This camera that your employees sold me wouldn’t work! I couldn’t take any pictures!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but without a receipt we can’t refund this.”

Customer: “You are going to refund this! And the memory card too!”

Me: “Okay, tell you what: why don’t I just try to fix your camera for you? Then we’ll go from there.”

(The customer scoffs and shoves her camera at me.)

Customer: “Yeah, sure, go ahead and try. I’m telling you, you sold me a defective camera.”

(I turn the camera on. It works fine. I try to take a picture; it says it doesn’t have enough memory. I open the battery compartment to inspect the card and immediately see the problem.)

Me: “This isn’t a memory card.”

Customer: “Excuse me?! Your employees picked this card and sold it to me!”

Me: “This is an adapter, which is fine. The memory card needs to be inside of the adapter as well. Do you have something that looks like it would fit in this?”

Customer: “Oh, that little thing? I threw that away.”

(She grabs her camera and slinks away.)

Original Story

 

#14: Because You’re Not Clever Enough To Pull The Same Trick Twice:

(I am working the first window of the drive-thru taking people’s money. Our store has a policy that if you don’t get a receipt or if you are not offered a receipt, then your order is free. A man comes up to my window and shoves a wad of bills and change into my hand and immediately drives off to the next window. I don’t think much of it, because the guy had exact change. A short time later, my manager comes up to me.)

Manager: “A customer is insisting on getting their food for free. He says that you didn’t give him his receipt nor ask him if he wanted one.”

(I explain to my manager what happened, and then go and talk to the customer.)

Me: “Sir, you didn’t give me a chance to offer you a receipt or to complete the transaction. As soon as you gave me your money, you sped off.”

Customer: “That’s NOT what the sign says! It’s not my fault you’re slow! I was not given a receipt, correct? You did not ask me if I wanted a receipt, correct? Therefore, I get my food for free!”

(My manager decides not to argue with the man and refunds his money. A few days later, a man places an order and I am pretty sure it is the same customer. Sure enough, I immediately recognize him when he pulls up to my window. Again, he shoves a wad of bills and change at me. However, I don’t reach out to take it just yet.)

Me: “Good evening, sir! Would you like your receipt today?”

Customer: “D*** it! You recognized me, didn’t you?”

Original Story

 

#15: Because You’re Just… Well… An Idiot:

(Our store releases new DVDs every Tuesday. A customer comes in on Wednesday, visibly angry.)

Customer: “What the h*** is wrong with your movies? This doesn’t work!”

(I open the case and discover that the brand new DVD is broken in several pieces, and has a large tire tread on the back.)

Me: “Sir, what happened? The DVD is completely destroyed!”

Customer: “I ran over it with my motorcycle. Why?”

Me: “…You ran over it…”

Customer: “I wanted to see if they still made them like they used to! Back in my day you couldn’t destroy things like this! I demand a refund!”

(He continues to yell and rant until my manager shows up. I explain what the story is, with the customer agreeing with me word for word on what happened. Finally, my manager speaks.)

Manager: *to the customer* “What are you, an idiot?”

Original Story

 

#16: Because Your Whole World Comes Crashing Down Thanks To Five Little Pennies:

(I work in a department store with a food hall. Company policy is to charge 5p for carrier bags in the food hall, and has been for several years. A woman walks up to the till with a few items and a backpack on.)

Me: “Hello, do you need a bag?”

Woman: *not paying much attention* “Yeah.”

Me: “Is a 5p bag okay?”

Woman: “Yeah.”

(I charge her for the bag and scan/pack her shopping.)

Me: “That’s [price], including the 5p bag charge.”

(She pays for her shopping using her credit card, then stops just as she is about to leave.)

Woman: “Was I charged for this bag?”

Me: “Yes, it cost 5p.”

Woman: “Well, I don’t want it then!”

(She tips her shopping out of the bag, back onto the counter, and then starts putting it in her backpack.)

Woman: “I want a refund!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’ve closed the till, and only a manager can open it. I’ll just call one over for you.”

(I call a manager, but they’re all busy with other customers.)

Woman: “Hurry up! I want my money!”

Me: “I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

(A little old lady, waiting in the queue, gets fed up and takes 5p out of her purse.)

Little Old Lady: “Here you go, dear. Now off you trot!”

(The woman takes the 5p and leaves.)

Me: *to the little old lady* “Thank you so much!”

Little Old Lady: *smiles* “I don’t see why people like you and I have to put up with people like her!”

Original Story

 

#17: Because It Takes Only 25 Seconds To Make A Decision You Will Instantly Regret:

(I work in telephone banking for a major bank. In our system, we can see all of the customer’s call history, from wait time, last 20 calls, who the customer spoke to, and any notes left by previous bankers.)

Me: “Hello and welcome to [Bank]; my name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Oh, thank f*** for that! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting? 35 f****** minutes! And all I wanted to do was check my balance on my credit card!”

(I can clearly see the customer has waited a total of 25 seconds from the start of his call to speak to me.)

Me: “I’m so sorry about any wait there, but you have come through fully identified, so thank you for putting in your customer number and access code. Now before I can—”

Customer: “Now you just f****** wait a minute. I’ve been waiting 35 minutes to speak to you, and you aren’t even going to apologize for making me wait? What kind of f****** s*** customer service are you lot running there? Huh?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I did apologize for the wait that you experienced and I—”

Customer: “Get your f****** manager now! I don’t have to deal with this! I demand compensation for my time and phone charges! Get your manager!”

(I put the customer on hold and signal for a manager to take an escalated call. While I wait for my manager to arrive, I look at the customer history. I see that the customer has been with us for five years. He seems to call twice a year, and almost always demands to speak to a manager, repeatedly demanding compensation. He has been told by our relations department that they will not compensate him further because he has been given close to $2000 in refunded interest on his credit card over the five years. There is a special note from the head of the relations department simply saying ‘if customer threatens to close accounts, process request. Do not attempt win-back.’ I recap the call so far to my manager, and advise him about the notes from the relations department as well. Total wait for the caller has now been two minutes.)

Manager: “Hello, sir, my name is [Name] and I’m a manager. How can I help?”

Customer: “Well, hasn’t that taken you a f****** lifetime to answer?! I’m sick of this s***! I demand that I have interest repaid to my credit card or I’ll close all my accounts!”

Manager: “Sir, I’m not going to be able to repay the interest for you, as you’ve already had close to $2000 refunded to you over the past—”

Customer: “Well, then close my accounts! Close them now! If you can’t fulfill a simple request like that, f*** you and [Bank]! I’ll take my business elsewhere.”

Manager: “Sir, just so I have it clear: you are formally requesting for me to close out your accounts with [Bank] right now?”

Customer: “That’s what I f***** said; you people just—”

Manager: “Okay, sir, as requested all your accounts are now closed. The amount you had owing on your credit card has been automatically paid from your everyday account, leaving you a balance of $52.16, which I’ll post out to you as a check. I’m sorry you’ve chosen to leave [Bank], but I hope you have a wonderful day.”

Customer: “YOU CLOSED MY ACCOUNTS?! BUT I—”

Manager: “You requested for them to be close on a recorded phone call where you were asked to confirm your wishes. You aren’t scamming anymore FREE money from [Bank].”

Customer: “I…”

Manager: “Hello?”

Customer: *defeated* “I… err… I’ll… I’ll wait for my check.” *click*

Original Story

 

 

…And Finally, One Who Might Actually Deserve A Refund:

(Our refund policy has a shorter timeframe than most people assume, and they usually don’t read their receipts. A customer walks in carrying a bag with one of our games; she’s on her cell phone.)

Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I just want to return this. I do not need to be spending $30 on a game right now.”

(She continues her phone conversation.)

Me: “Do you have your receipt with you?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s in the bag, honey.”

Me: “Okay, let me just check it.”

(I see that she’s a couple of days past the refund window.)

Me: “All right, I can get you a store credit for this.”

Customer: “What? You mean I can’t get my money back?”

Me: “It says right here, ‘Last day for refund is [date]’.”

(She is a little bit shocked, and continues talking on her cell phone.)

Customer: “They say I can’t return it… I can only get a store credit! I just drove all this way for nothing!”

(I prepare for her to start yelling at me.)

Customer: “Oh, I can’t believe this. I need to go. Just put it back in the bag. I need to take my bad attitude out of here!”

Me: “Um, sorry about that.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s okay; it’s not you, honey!”

(She grabs the bag and leaves quickly, still on her cell phone. I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “I can’t believe she didn’t yell at me! She just recognized that she was upset and left. This has never happened before!”

Original Story

 

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