17 Outrageous Tales Of The “Florida Man”

Dear readers,

For years now, denizens of the Internet have been enjoying the exploits of the “Florida Man.” If you read a news report of any absurd or frankly unbelievable actions of someone, don’t be too surprised to discover that they are a “Florida Man.” To celebrate the mostly-entertaining escapades of what we hope are many different people, we’ve rounded up seventeen of our favorite stories of Florida people and their interactions with our hard-working customer service clerks, who have no idea what they’re in for.

Please enjoy our tales of Not Always Right meets Florida Man!

Florida Man Sells Gun – Rule #1: always assume it’s loaded.

A Few Digits Shy Of A Phone Number – Hits from the comments: “I feel dumber just having read that exchange. Wow.”

Tall Tales Vs. Turning Tail – They’re so lucky all they lost was their dignity.

A Hurricane Of Email Fails – It’s wild that there are people living in the twenty-first century who don’t grasp this.

Not The Most Well-Red Of Customers – Interesting loophole, but not medically sound.

Florida Man Makes An Order – Hits from the comments: “You can lead a customer to information, but you can’t make him think. There. I fixed it for you.”

Not Much Between The Temples – There are so many things wrong with this lady’s logic that we don’t know where to start.

Taxing Customers – It gets her out of your hair, sure, but we pity the next cashier she deals with.

Giving A Pizza His Mind – Get a therapist, buddy.

Seriously, It’s Just A Joke – You just can’t joke with customers. *Sigh*

Florida Man Sends Wife Shopping – Hits from the comments: “Well, we do have some great product over here, which is blue AND blue on de ting.” Don’t get the reference? Check out this classic story: DE TING, DE TING!!!

No Happy Ending – There’s a special place in Hell for people who treat books this way.

The Only Thing It Swallowed Was Her Pride – How do you… but… ksaghjdfg!

About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 2 – A shockingly stupid attempt at a scam.

Mentally Pre(Car)ious – Hits from Drake & Josh (paraphrased): “I ain’t calling your friend a truther!”

Spiritual, Not Psychic – Hits from the comments: “I did; I narrowed it down to just over 6,000 results. Now it’s your turn.”

The Boy, The Octopus, And The Strawberry – Okay, honestly, we’d accept that as payment.

We hope you enjoyed this Florida Man-themed roundup! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

23 Hilarious Stories About Customers Not Quite Getting July 4th!

Hilarious Bad Customer Stories From Every State: Alabama – Idaho