Unfiltered Story #160900

, , | Unfiltered | August 24, 2019

(I work for a hospital in a small city. We sometimes hear odd slang for body parts or diseases, but usually we can decipher the patient’s meaning fairly quickly. This was not one of those times.)

Me: “Good morning Ms [Patient Name]. My name is [My Name], and I’m going to ask you a few questions.”

Patient: *slightly hostile stare*

(I began to take a short medical history on her. I wasn’t too worried about the hostility, lots of people don’t like coming to the hospital or having tests. Usually they cheer up after a few minutes when they understand that we’re going to be nice to them.)

Me: “Have you ever had cancer?”

Patient: “Yeah, I had rutabaga cancer.”

Me: “um… rutabaga cancer?”

Patient: “Yeah, that’s what I said; rutabaga cancer.”

Me: “So you had cancer of your”

*Patient cuts me off rudely*

Patient: “I SAID rutabaga cancer. What are you STUPID? Why is it that all you nurses and doctors can’t figure out how to get help for people when they have rutabaga cancer?”

Me: “Okay, I’m going to go put this information into our system and I’ll be back with you in a moment.”

(I’ve always been proud that I made it all the way back to our staff only work area before I collapsed into helpless laughter.)