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16 Funny Stories About Customers Who Don’t Quite Know What Communism Is

| Right | May 31, 2021

Dear readers,

We here at Not Always Right usually try to avoid politics. We feel that anyone should have the right to vote for a government that aligns with their values, regardless of how we may feel about those values. We’re not endorsing any political parties or communism here, but it is shocking to us how many people jump straight to communism when they’re confronted by something “foreign” that they don’t like or accuse anyone charging them money as a “darn commie” – not realizing that what’s happening is actually very capitalist!

Rounded up for your pleasure are sixteen stories from our archives about customers who don’t quite know what communism is, with some funny and crazy results!


In Soviet America, Product Buys You – You’ll find that very few things are priced on a sliding scale based on income.

You Say Communist, I Say Consumerist – Their understanding of communism is as brittle as fine China.

Cold But Not Calculating – This just in: sales are a communist plot.

Lenin, Inc. – Hits from the comments: “Sir, were you born this stupid, or did you have to work to get here?”

Not Usually Compa(red) – The employee uniform is just a red herring.

Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills – That’s no way to treat someone who just helped you for free.

Giving You Hell(sinki) – You’d give anything to Finnish conversations like these faster.

Independent Opening Hours – Stores are open because customers want them to be open. This concept is not complicated.

O, Canaduh, Part 6 – Canada may be America’s hat, but it’s still its own country!

Be Careful With Those RED Sox – It’s usually at this point that I start talking about Quidditch teams.

Havana Clue What She’s Talking About – Why would anyone want to steal a job where you deal with customers like this?!

In Soviet Russia, Rooms Rest You! – Will my answer change my ability to direct you to the restroom?

Keeping Communists In Check – Bank fees are one of the most capitalist things there are!

Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills, Part 3 – Being charitable means you’re one of them.

In Soviet Russia, Cup Refills You! – Sounds like you don’t need any more caffeine, comrade.

I Can See Communism From My House! – Which what is what?!


We hope you enjoyed this Ignorant-About-Communism-themed roundup! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

13 Customers Who Are Very Bad With Geography


13 Funny True Stories About Tourists Who Have Absolutely No Clue

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