Unfiltered Story #155135

[I work for an online store that deals in medical equipment, many of our customers are elderly and so I’m use to confused callers or people wanting discounts. I have alot of patience and try to help them the best I can, but some just know how to annoy me in all the right ways]

Me: Hello and thank you for calling [company name], how may I help you?

Customer: Yes I’m looking at [2 different machines but sounds like she thinks they are one machine], and have some questions I’d like answered.

Me: *She sounds like an elderly woman, and when dealing with an elderly sounding customer I use my sweetest voice possible* Okay Ma’am what questions do you have?

Customer: Well I want your best price *as in she hopes she’ll get it cheaper by calling and not ordering online* on [machine]. I want the best bang for my buck.

Me: Well ma’am that machine is actually two different machines by two different companies, and the price is a set [price of machine] since the Manufacturer doesn’t allow us to discount it. *we say since this is true for most of them and it gets most of the ‘Discounters’ to stop asking. I go on to explain the differences between the two machines, trying to talk her into the cheaper one*

Customer: Well I want [More expensive machine] why are you talking to me about the cheaper one?

Me: Well you stated you want the most bang for your buck, so I figured you may be more inclined to this one.

Customer: Well money is not an issue, I want [more expensive machine].

Me: Well okay Ma’am if money is not an issue *begins telling her about the machine and features, she wants the details of what she’ll be getting in the most expensive package for the machine, the machine comes with a USB cord*.

Customer: What is a USB cord?

Me: Well, the cord enables you to connect the machine to your computer and-

Customer: I won’t be lugging that big heavy thing when I’m traveling, can you take the cord off the package and give me a discount?

Me: *A bit putt off by her interruption, since 1. it’s like a $5 3 inch cord, and 2. why ask for a discount when she said she wanted the more expensive one because money wasn’t an issue* W-Well I can’t do that, the Manufacturer sends it to us with the cord in the package so I can’t take out the cord and discount the price.

Customer: Oh, well then.

[We continue talking about the machines]

Customer: okay why don’t you just add the [cheaper machine] to the order? My husband will like that one better

Me: *as doing paperwork while answering her questions, since she said she only had questions, nothing about making an order, one of the things that annoys me most is when they assume I’m taking their order when they told me they just had questions* You… want me to take your order Ma’am?

Customer: Well yes that’s why I called!

Me: Well okay Ma’am… I’ll start making the order right now.

Customer: Do you have discount codes online?

Me: *again she said price wasn’t an issue so I’m a bit put off she’s insisting on these discounts, but I remain pleasant since it’ll be a big order* Well yes we have some codes online. If you allow me to make an account for you and sigh you up for our newsletter I’ll take 10$ off your order.

Customer: Okay do that, but sit on the line with me while I find some more.

Me: … okay Ma’am *I sit there as she asked ‘are you there’ every 5 seconds, getting more annoyed, again she said she didn’t care about money yet she’s making such a fuss over discounts*

Customer: Can I get 50% off a mask?

Me: Do you want to buy a mask Ma’am?

Customer: No but I want the 50%

Me: then I can’t give that to you

Customer: *couple minutes later* Can I get this bulk discount?

Me: Bulk means you’re buying more then one of the same item Ma’am, and here you’re buying two different machines, I’m sorry that’s not applicable.

Customer: well that’s just no help! *2 more minutes go by* I see a code for free shipping. I want that!

Me: *Any order over $99 is free shipping but I decide to indulge her and let her think she’s getting a discount* Okay Ma’am I’ll apply that to your order.

Customer: oh a 5% off coupon too! 5% off such an expensive order will be more then a mere $10… *she sounds so happy with herself*

Me: *I just wanted her off my line at this point* Okay I’ll add that to your order *begins to make account, her e-mail is already in the system* You… already made an account with us Ma’am?

Customer: well yes but I didn’t buy anything!

Me: *I am grateful for my gel wrist rest at this point because I want to smack my head against it* Okay Ma’am I just need your information now…

[We go on with the order and thankfully have no hiccups, I finally get off the line and proceed to bang my head against my wrist rest. At least I got the order right? ]