15 More Crazy Stories About Tourists Who Have Absolutely No Clue

Dear readers,

There are some tourists who don’t bother to learn any of the local language (at least learn how to ask for a beer wherever you are!), and then there are some who don’t even know what the local language is! For these extra clueless travelers, we have dedicated many a page or two, but we have so many more that it’s time to dip your toes into the waters yet again. For those who are lucky enough to travel, don’t be like these people…

Cancun, Oahu, Same Difference – At the risk of sounding like my mother, what are they teaching in schools these days?!

When (Not) In Rome – Shoot, I used my “What are they teaching?” caption too early in the roundup.

A Mammoth Mistake – Technically, people can hunt for them all they want.

Loonie Toonies – Hits from the comments: “His heart’s in the right place, even if he forgot to take his brain along.” (Credit: Denton Young)

When You’re This Stupid You Have Nothing Toulouse – Depends, sir; do you want the one in Arkansas? Idaho? Ontario? Denmark?

Sometimes, Ignorance Really Is Bliss – On occasion, you just have to meet the customer at their level.

My Hand Is Bigger Than Texas – Ugh. This roundup is making me want a vacation… from humanity.

But Daddy, I Don’t Wanna Be An Ad Executive – Honestly, he’s lucky searching those two terms didn’t take him somewhere for adults.

The Vacation Of A Lifetime, Slightly Exaggerated – Uh, ma’am? Do you know what a ship… is?

The World: America’s Theme Park – I’m pretty sure Australians know what “buy” means.

Actually, We’re Saving Them For WW3 – How sad is it that we’re hoping he confused Australia with Austria?

Haphazardly Placed Vowels Does Not A Language Make – I just cringed so hard that I think I broke something.

The Case Of The Choo-Choo Charlatans – It functions exactly as intended, actually.

Our Guests Are Robots, Too – Congrats, sir. You’re the least stupid tourist in this roundup. (The bar, we admit, was low.)

This Deal Is A Steal – Did they leave their brain at home, or have they never been to a store before?

We hope you enjoyed this Even-More-Clueless-Tourists-themed roundup! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

23 Times Airline Staff Wish They Could Fly Away From Terrible Customers

10 Wild Stories About Tourists Not Quite Understanding National Parks