Unfiltered Story #146034

Me:  Thank you for calling (company name).  This is (name).  What is the purpose of your verification, and do you need income, or employment only?
Caller:  Well I called you guys there at (completely different company) a few days ago to change my address, and I just got this letter in the mail that you sent to me at my old address, so I want to know why you’re still sending my paychecks to my old address and I want you to fix my address.
Me:  Well, this is (company name), not (completely different company).  We’re a completely different company from them, so I apologize for the inconvenience, but you would need to contact (completely different company) for assistance with that.
Caller:  I don’t understand what you just said, and you mailed me this letter at my old address, so why can’t you fix it?
Me:  I think you may have gotten the wrong number; we’re (company name), not (completely different company).
Caller:  No, YOU mailed me this letter about my pay at my OLD address, so why can’t YOU fix it since YOU were the ones who mailed it to me?
Me:  I apologize, we’re (company name), we wouldn’t have mailed you anything about your pay.  You need to contact your company about that.
Caller:  Okaaaay, so what do you do in your department?  What is your function with (completely different company)?
Me:  This isn’t (completely different company); this is (name of company).  We provide income and employment verifications for third-party verifiers.
Caller:  But YOU mailed me this letter, so why won’t you correct it?  I just got this letter in the mail today, FROM YOU, and you’re telling me you won’t help me?
Me:  Okay, was the letter from (completely different company), or (name of company)?
Caller:  It was from (completely different company)!  That’s you!
Me:  Sir, this is (name of company).  You need to contact (completely different company) about that.  You would probably need to call the corporate HR department at (completely different company) to get that fixed.
Caller:  No, no, no!  I dialed (phone number) and I got you, so why won’t you help me with this?
Me:  That’s not our phone number.  I don’t even know what that number is for.
Caller:  That number is the human resources, and so you need to just do what I’m asking you to do!
Me:  Okay, well I apologize sir, either you dialed the wrong number or somehow through whatever options you pressed in the automated system over there transferred you over to our company, but we are (company name).  We’re not (completely different company).  We’re a completely different company.
[This back-and-forth went on for a FULL FIVE MINUTES of me explaining to him that we are not the company that he works for and that he needs to contact that company.]
Caller: [Very condescendingly] Look.  Back in my day, when an employee of a company called someone at the company for help, that person would take them by the hand and lead them through to fix the problem for them.  As a representative of (completely different company), it is your job to help me with this, because I’m an employee of (completely different company)!
Me:  [Pause] I don’t work for (completely different company).  I don’t have access to (completely different company)’s computer system or data or records or anything, so unfortunately there is no way I can update the address that IBM sends your paychecks to.
Caller:  You are USELESS.  You are COMPLETELY USELESS.
Me:  [Pause] Well, sir, I apologize for that.
Caller:  [Hangs up]

Sadly I get a call like this just about every single day, although this was the first time I’ve been called useless.