Unfiltered Story #145970

, , | Unfiltered | April 1, 2019

(I was volunteering at a park about three years ago and I was the “Undercover” – A stream of crime had came to that part of the neighborhood, and they wanted someone to handle it. I was with two of my friends that day that lived behind the park’s entrance near the basketball and tennis courts. One of them was walking quickly, three boys following him. One was taller than the average bear; about an extra foot on each of us as well as the other two whom I presumed were hooligans as well.)

Me:”So, [Name of Friend #1], the soda fountain needs new drinks, and they’re half off to employees. Want me to get you one while you wait?”

Friend #1-*nods, looking behind him under the pavilion*

Me-*staring at him* “Umm…You ok? You can sit down if you want.”
*He sat down rather nervously. I got a bit worried, and I go to the concessions stand by the pool and I come back with two root beers. I see the three boys were sitting right on the other side and I come over with the drinks*

Lesser Goon #1-“Hey, you got us drinks! How thoughtful!”

Me:”Actually, I-” *They swipe them both from my hands, spilling some on my white shirt, and I just shrugged while the lesser two drank the smalls, the bigger one came up to me.*

Greater Goon:”…Medium. Sprite.”

Me:*snickering* “I’m sorry, what?”

*His glare was the best part-I kept laughing since I laugh out of nervousness.*

Greater Goon:”SPRITE. MEDIUM. Just for that-I’ll also take a [$15,00 Sheet pizza for a small party or family]!”

Me:”You, Tarzan. Me, Jane. Sprite-What is?”

*He attempted to pick me up and I just let him, and while I’m nearly faint of breath due to laughter, he was tapped on the shoulder by my friend’s younger brother-Who is 6′ 7″ (A whole half a foot to the Great Goon), and 13 at the time.*

Friend #2-*Hands me a large machete* “[Co-worker] lent it to me, and they’re not here today. Do you know where this goes?”

Me:*Trying not to laugh* “I-I may need it now!”

*The three goons ran off, and were not rewarded with their treats. Looks like having the nervous people pay off at times!*