Unfiltered Story #144733

I work for a very busy bakery where we make pies with fresh fruit and cream.
This the most irate customer that I have ever had.
Customer: I need to talk to the manager there is something wrong with my pie
Cashier: I can help you – what seems to be the problem?
Customer: “no you have no say here- i know you, you are just a flunky, get me the manager”
I am the manager and I walk up as she is hassling my cashier
Me: Hello I am the manager- what seems to be the problem with your pie?
Customer: I bought this pie 3 days ago- (proceeds to show me and pie tin with one small slice of pie left) this Banana pie is horrible- it has a ton of bananas in it and now they are all brown!
Me: “..excuse me ma’am? are you complaining because the FRESH Banana pie has bananas or because the bananas got brown?”
Customer: “Both! you incompetent moron! Banana pie doesn’t have bananas in it! and if it did they would not turn brown!
Me: “Ma’am- we make fresh banana pie with fresh bananas-  and we absolutely do not add any preservatives to our pies. On the menu it clearly says the banana pie is a “24 hour pie”, and all my cashiers also mention it every time. Fresh bananas turn brown once you peel them, the pudding and whipped cream keeps them from browning for about 24 hours but after that they will get brown. Further more, you seem to have enjoyed eating most of the pie.”
Customer: “You are an idiot! I don’t understand how you can run a business where you lie to customer and treat them like second class citizens! I have eaten 100s banana pies- the kind you keep in the freezer (national frozen brand)- they never have bananas in them! And my bananas NEVER and I MEAN NEVER get brown! I want my money back, a new pie and an apology from you- just because…..because….you are a moron b***h!”
By this time we have several people waiting in line looking floored at her screaming and one of the cashier hands me a small note that says “RRX” our code for repeat complainers who are looking for free pie
Me: “Ma’am- First of all, please don’t call me names i am trying to help you. Second we are NOT (national bran), we do not freeze any of our pies, AND if you have “magic bananas” that never turn brown- please let me know where to buy them- I would love to have them.
You already ate most of the pie- 90% of it- so some one in your house liked the pie and you are looking to get more free pie- you like the pies and want more but don’t want to pay for them, that is stealing.
I also remember you from last month, when you had the same complain. You have had our banana pie before and I remember telling you the same thing.
I will not be giving you a refund or a free pie at this pie and I ask that you leave,  we do not appreciate you calling me or my employees names”
Customer: “You F****ing B***h- you give me some free pie or I will crucify you on your reviews! The customer is always right! Banana pie DOES NOT  have bananas and bananas DO NOT TURN BROWN! Moron! give me a f***ing pie!
I am totally blown away by her behavior and the other customers have bunched up away from her by the door, I am really starting to get angry but hold it together for the sake of the other customers.
Me: Ma’am please leave- you are not getting any pie, free or otherwise. Please buy your dessert somewhere else, we have other customers”
Customer: “B***h please, I am calling the cops on you for robbing me!”
She storms out and proceeds to rant and rave in our parking lot on her phone for the next 15 minutes. She is yelling at customers and screaming profanities into the air when the police show up. I walk outside to talk to them.
Customer: Points at me- “her, her, that b***h, she robbed me, she tried to poison me, my banana pie has F***ING BANANAS IN IT! You arrest her right now!
At this point I just can’t hold it together any more- the officer looks at me and rolls his eyes- I burst out laughing and so does the officer. The customer jumps  in her car still screaming and drives away.
Turns out – she was having an episode and was off her medication, her husband came in the next day, apologized for her and bought 2 banana pies.
Sadly we get complains about bananas in the banana pie at least once a month!