Unfiltered Story #143683

, , , | Unfiltered | March 16, 2019

(I am shopping at a grocery store in a long line.  A man answers his cell phone while in the 15 items or less line)

Wife on phone:  Honey, I don’t feel good.  I need you to provide dinner to the kids.

Husband:  OK.  (The man gets out of the 15 items or less line and comes back a few minutes later with some pesto sauce and some yogurt.  He pays and the cashier is on to the next customer.  His phone rings.)

Wife on phone:  Well.  Since you didn’t respond and you’re taking your sweet time coming home, I’ve decided to cook dinner.  And when you get home, you’re responsible for finishing this pound of spaghetti.

Husband:  Dear, I responded to you that that’s fine.  Since I’m at the grocery store, I’ve picked up some yogurt to go along with dinner.  I’m also planning on making pesto.

Wife on phone:  The kids already had yogurt for lunch.  Why are you pushing me like this?  Listen, it’s easy, I’ve already got the spaghetti done and I’m waiting for you to get home.

Husband:  Wait – now I’m confused.  Was I making dinner or not?

Wife on phone:  Like I already told you, you’re responsible for dinner.  I’ve already got the spaghetti done and no we are not eating more yogurt for dinner.

Husband:  OK, so I’ll just grab a vegetable and bring it home instead of the yogurt.

Wife on phone:  No, I just told you, you’ve got spaghetti.  Just come home already.

Husband:  Well, now I’m confused even more.  Am I cooking dinner or not?

Wife on phone:  Why do you keep pushing on me?  This isn’t complicated!  Stop being a jerk already!

Husband:  So…  do I grab a vegetable or not?

Wife on phone:  You know what?  What ever.  You’re being a jerk.  All you needed to do was make the spaghetti.  It’s not that complicated and the kids already had yogurt, so don’t bring any home.

Husband:  Dear… I am very very confused.  You want me to make dinner, but you’ve already made the spaghetti.  And I understand the yogurt, which is fine.  But, what are they going to have along with dinner?  I understand the not having multiple yogurts in a single day.  So, while I’m at the store, I can grab a veg…

Wife on phone:  You know what?  Fine, be that way.  You’re such an asshole.  I’m making the spaghetti.  When you get home, you can make a plate of your own.  And, I’ve lost my appetite just by talking to you!


Husband:  (Everyone is just staring at the man, who is standing there shaking his head in disbelief)  This happens around the same time each month…

(He drops off his shopping in his car then comes back in and grabs some assorted vegetables.  Who ever you are, good luck with your crazy wife!)

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