Unfiltered Story #143667

So this really dopy old guy comes in (must have been 50 or 60) and he’s speaking really slowly and carefully like he’s really stupid and has to concentrate really hard just so as to be able to talk at all.

Old man: Can I have sliced cheddar cheese, on a brown baguette, with salad, with onion on it, please?

Me: Cheese and onion?

Old man: Cheese, that’s sliced cheddar cheese, not grated, and onion, and salad. I have to ask for the onion separately as well as the salad because I have been told that the salad does not include the onion unless I ask for it.

I made him his baguette on white because we didn’t have brown, and I wrapped it up and gave it to him. A couple of minutes later he came back in, and he queued up again and when the queue was finished he spoke to me again.)

Old man: Sorry, I didn’t know the rules had changed. Can I have some tomato and cucumber on this? Sorry, I thought it automatically came with the salad, it always has done in the past. It’s an extra 20p per filling, isn’t it?

Me: I gave you what you asked for: cheese, salad and onion.

Old man: Sorry, but I thought salad meant lettuce, tomato and cucumber, not just lettuce. Can I have tomato and cucumber on this as well? That’s what I usually have. I come in here a lot. I didn’t know the rules had changed. (And he put 50p and his baguette, which he had taken a bite out of, on the counter.)

(I knew he was lying because I had never seen him before and I’d been working there nearly the whole week. I could tell he was working a scam but I couldn’t work out what sort of scam it was.)

Me: I can’t change your baguette now, you’ve already taken a bite out of it. I gave you what you asked for, it’s not my fault you didn’t ask for the right thing.

Old man: But I did ask for the right thing. I thought salad meant lettuce and tomato and cucumber, not just lettuce.

Me: You’re not scamming us out of a new sandwich. You can either leave now or I’m calling the police.

(Thank goodness the stupid old man left. The bad news is that he left his sandwich on the counter and I had to throw it away and disinfect the counter. The good news is that he left his 50p on the counter as well, so the tills were up that day! Every cloud has its silver lining. With any luck we won’t see him again.)