Unfiltered Story #126546

Me: Thank you for calling [Electronics Store]. My name is [Name]. How can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I was wondering if you carry any pet-safe washer/dryer combos.
Me: (confused) I’m sorry, I don’t follow. Pet-safe?
Customer: (in a matter-of-fact tone throughout) Yes, pet-safe. You see, recently, while I was doing a load of laundry, my cat got into it. I didn’t notice him when I started the laundry, and I found him in there when it was done.
Me: (horrified and speechless)
Customer: Anyways, I wanted to see if he was alive, so I threw him on the floor.
Me: (still horrified) On the floor?
Customer: (still matter-of-fact, no emotion coming through) Yes, it was a game we’d play. I’d throw him down, then he’d run around. So this time when I threw him down, his head popped off.
Me: (nearing a catatonic state of horror)
Customer: It was really sad; I liked that cat. So do you have any pet-safe washer/dryer combos?

(Eventually, I figured out that what she wanted was a laundry machine that somehow had a screen on it that prevented the ingress of pets, yet still allowed her to put clothes in without removing the screen. Since the laws of physics got in the way of that plan, that was the end of that. Pet-safe products are still an in-joke there.)