Unfiltered Story #124743

(This is the strangest experience I’ve ever had at a store.  I was standing in line at an electronics/media store in 2006, buying a copy of a movie.  It was a Tuesday night near closing time, and there weren’t too many people working, so I had to wait in a long line with about four other customers in front of me and behind me.  I was with my mom, but she had gone off to browse through the CD’s while I waited in line to pay for the movie.  I was suddenly greeted by the old man behind me in line.  He was about 5’6”, sort-of chubby, and appeared to be in his 60’s with gray hair and a beard.  He was standing with an older woman.)

Old Man:  “Hey!  You got a movie there?”

Me:  “Yup!  The new ‘King Kong’!”

Old Man:  “That’s cool.  You ever see that ‘National Treasure’ movie?”

Me:  “Yeah.  It was alright.”

Old Man:  “Yeah.  Did you know it was based on a true story?”

Me:  “Um…  I don’t think it was.”

Old Man:  “No, it really was.  I was there.  I wrote the movie because I was the Nicolas Cage character in real life!”

Me:  “I’m sorry…  what?”

Old Man:  “Yeah.  Only they changed the names and some of the characters for the movie for my protection!”

Me:  (Amused but also worried because he was beginning to sound sort-of erratic)  “Oh…  really?)

Old Man:  “Yup!  Also, it wasn’t the FBI like in the movie.  The FBI characters were Johnson City police officers in real life!”  (Johnson City was a nearby town)

(The man proceeded to begin explaining the plot of the movie and comparing it to his own life.  Even though everything he was saying was clearly untrue, he really seemed to believe it, and was almost having a minor panic attack trying to explain it.  I played along, because I wanted to get away.  After a while the man literally left the line and walked out of the store, leaving the old woman.  I looked at her and asked her what was going on.  She shook her head and said she couldn’t explain his behavior ever.  I finally got up to the register and explained the situation, because I was worried.)

Cashier:  “Uh, wow.  Want me to call someone over to the register?”

Me:  “Yeah, maybe.”

(As I finished paying, the man came back in and got back in line next to the old woman.  I walked straight towards my mother and asked to leave the store immediately.  I heard him trying to explain to the cashier the entire story over again.  The cashier was visibly unnerved because he was still panicking and taking it very seriously.  As my mother and I were walking towards the door, he stopped telling the story, ran out of line, grabbed me, and shoved a CD into my hand, before running back to line.  The CD had a lot of strange things written on it in sharpie.  Including “The Constitution was Abducted by Bigfoot” and “Top Secret UFO Files.”  My mom made me take it to the Vestal Police Department because she was worried it might have weird or illegal files on it.  We never heard back from them.  The next time I was in, I asked around.  I guess the man just came in sometimes to buy stuff, but this was the first time he started ranting and raving like that.  The event ended up becoming a running joke among my group of friends since then because it was so out-there.)