Unfiltered Story #123460

I’m making keys next to an old but wise Coworker in the aisle to my right who is helping customers when this short middle-age woman approaches me right in the middle of my keycutting.

Her: “Excuse me…”
Me: *Still making keys, hoping she’s talking to my Coworker.*
Her: “Um, excuse me…”
Me: *Turns to my right to see her, and smiles a bit, and silently motions toward the key machine and my coworker…*
Her: “Could you help me?”
Me: *Shuts off machine, silently apologizing to the people whose keys I’m making. I don’t want key slivers in anyone’s mouths.* Hi there. With?
Her: “I’m looking for caulking.”
Me: “Ah, it’s in aisle 82 on the left.” *Turns key machine back on and keeps grinding.*
Her: “Yes, thank you, I’m looking for the caulking, and I need to know which one to use for my windows.”
Me: *pauses, looking at her, and shuts off the machine again.* “Yes, um, it’s in aisle 82, in the paint department. The guy behind the paint counter desk can help you.” *Turns key machine back on.*
Her: “Maybe he would know where it is?” *Motions toward my coworker, who is quite swamped at the moment.*
Me: *Shuts off key machine again* “Erm, no, he’s busy. Ask the guy behind the paint counter. He can definitely help you, and is quite experienced with caulking.” *Turns key machine on again.*
Her: “So he would know?” *Motions toward the same Coworker to my right.*
Me: “Paint counter guy.” (Key machine still on.)
Her: *Points toward coworker, confused.*
Me: *Points in the opposite direction, toward the paint counter.* “The guy behind the counter in that direction. The Paint guy.”
Her: “…. maybe he’ll know…?” *Still talking about my poor swamped Coworker there.*
Me: “No, m’dear, not him. He’s not the paint guy. He’s busy at the moment. Turn around, and walk into the middle of the store, and look to your left. You’ll see a guy behind the counter making paint..” *Turns back to keys, and silently wills an invisibility shield around self.*
Her: *Walking to my Coworker* “Maybe you know. Where is the caulking, please.”
Coworker: *Still helping a customer, ignoring her for a bit, though he raises a “one moment” finger to her.*
Her: “Where is the caulking, please?”
Coworker: *Now done* “The associate behind the paint counter will help you. It’s his area of expertise.” *Helps another customer*
Her: *Turns around, looking like she just passed through someone, and goes back to me.* “Where is the caulking?”
Me: “Aisle 82.”
Her: “So, aisle 79?”
Me: “… … aisle 82.”
Her: “So it’s in the caulking area?”
Me: “The caulking area is in the paint area. Follow the signs, dear.”
Her: “Where’s the paint area?”
Me: *Points*
Her: “But maybe he knows?”
Me: “I’m confused now.”
Her: “Me too. Maybe he knows where it is?”
Me: “But I know where it is.”
Her: “But maybe he knows?”
Me: “Fine with me, hon.”
Her: *Asks Coworker again* “Where is caulking?”
Coworker: *Wondering why he’s still here* “It’s in the paint area. Ask the man behind the paint counter. He’ll be glad to help you.”
Her: *Turns to me* “Can you show me where the caulking is?”
Me: “After I’m done making keys. I have quite the line. Maybe it might take less time to wander off into the middle of the store to find it on your own. I can’t leave until I’m done.”
Her: “But why not?”
Me: “Because I have a line.”
Her: “Okay, goodbye. Maybe he knows?” *Points to Coworker again*
Me: “Didn’t you just ask him?”
Her: “But he didn’t know.”
Me: “So why are you asking him again? The Paint counter guy knows.”
Her: “So maybe I should just ask him, right?”
Me: “Well, I’ve told you many times, but I don’t know if it’ll help to do it again, so yes, maybe he can lead you to it.”
Her: “But I’m here now. Can’t you lead me?”
Me: “After my line is gone and I have no more customers. That’s what I’m supposed to do, anyway. If you want, you can walk over to the paint counter and ask him where it is, though I can tell you right now that it’s in aisle 82.
Her: “But I don’t know where that is!”
Me: “The paint counter or aisle 82?”
Her: “… Anything!!!”
Me: “Yeah, this store is a bit of a maze.” *Spits out a key sliver* “.. Bleh. That was awful. Go into the middle of the store, and look to the left. He’s right there.”
Her: “Where?”
Me: “The middle of the store.”
Her: “Where’s that? Maybe you know?” *Walks to my Coworker*
Me: … “Where the middle of the store is?”
My current customer: “HOLY %@#% LADY, FOLLOW.”
*Customer takes her by the arm, leads her to the caulking, and comes back.*

Me: “I love you forever.”
Customer: “I Figured as much. Have a good one.”
Me: “You too, bro.”