12 More Stories About Wine, And The Customers Who Think They Know All About It

Dear readers,

There are three kinds of wine lovers. First, you have your casuals; they may have a favorite, but they’re happy to just crack open a bottle of whatever you’ve got on hand and have a nice time with their friends. Then, you have your connoisseurs; they swish, sip, and spit, and from a single sample they can tell you everything from the variety of grape involved to what the vintner was wearing when they bottled the wine.

And then, there are these idiots. We’ve had a couple of roundups about wine before, but luckily, our supply of wine-loving morons never seems to run dry! In honor of National White Wine Day (USA), we’ve assembled 12 more stories from our archives about wine enthusiasts who don’t know what the heck they want!

I’m Drawing A Blanc, Part 2 – Tell us you don’t know what “blanc” means without telling us you don’t know what “blanc” means.

Sugar-Coating The Prices – She must really like hangovers.

The Right Wine Or The White Wine – It doesn’t take an expert to tell the difference.

This Flavor Isn’t Grape – Wine is a little more complicated than just grown-up grape juice.

Didn’t Hear That Through The Grapevine – Her face was as red as the wine when she figured it out.

Must Have Taken A Napa In Geography Class – Hits from the comments: “Sorry, no amount of wine in the world can make you look smart, buddy.”

There’s No Sugar-Coating Some Stupidity, Part 2 – Might as well just suck on a sugar cube.

Drinking Until You See Red – This is a story of colorful confusion.

Wining Without Reason – This guy sounds like a real expert!

Pray That’s Just Dry Humor – Knowledge like this should be a prerequisite for working in a bar, right?

Here For The Whine – Hits from the comments: “At least with other alcoholic beverages, people don’t start acting like idiots until AFTER they’ve had a few.”

An Off-Color Purchase – He can finally eat spaghetti!

We hope you enjoyed this third Wine-themed roundup! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

23 Stories About Wine, And The Customers Who Shouldn’t Be Drinking It

10 More Stories About Wine, And The Customers Who Shouldn’t Be Drinking It