11 Stories About Obnoxious Customers And Their Complicated Coffee Orders

Dear readers,

We know that complicated coffee orders are normal these days, and if the option is on the menu, then the customer should be able to order it any way they like. Our issue starts when these orders come from customers who don’t seem to know what they’re ordering. They’re either just trying to sound cool or want to add extra-complicated steps to their drink to give themselves something to complain about.

We’ve rounded up eleven stories from our archives about obnoxious customers and their equally obnoxious coffee orders.

Make Coffee, Not War – We hope some deserving employee got to enjoy that drink.

One Dangerously Pressurized Coffee, Coming Up – Someone really needed that coffee.

The Gondorian Is Always Right – Not to be nerdy on main here, but Aragorn is the only son of Arathorn.

Rescued From A Life Of Deliciousness – Okay, so there’s pescetarians, vegetarians, vegans, and… this?

There’s No Accounting For Taste – Either that, or she’s a dragon.

Conjured Coffee Conjugations – Hits from the comments: “Sounds like a line in the song Lady Marmalade.”

If He Continues He’s Likely To Lose Another 21 Grams – I haven’t had enough coffee for jerks like this.

Coffee Can Cause Great Dis-Stain – How about you go call your husband and get back to us?

Some Customers Are Completely See Through, Part 2 – Wait until she hears how they make burgers look so good in print ads.

Seek, And Ye Shall Find…Eventually – We think, possibly, she doesn’t know what a cappuccino is.

Upside (Down) Your (Empty) Head – I had to Google what “upside-down” coffee actually meant, but come on!

We hope you enjoyed this Obnoxious-Coffee-Order-themed roundup! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

23 Sadly True Stories About Gluten Ignorance That Celiac Sufferers Have To Put Up With

10 Tales From The Barista About Terrible Coffee Store Customers