Unfiltered Story #108911

(I work the midnight shift at a gas station in a college town.  Needless to say that you meet all kinds of strange people on this shift, especially when the bars turn out around 2 o’clock in the morning.  All businesses in my state are required by law to stop serving and selling alcohol at 2 on the dot.  This particular shift I have a group of cops hanging around the station.  At about ten minutes till 2, they get ready to leave when a taxi pulls into the parking lot and lets a lady out.  One of the cops leans over and opens the door for her and she begins to laugh.  It is at this point the cops and I realize that the lady is completely drunk.)

Lady: “Ah ha ha ha, oh what the f***, were you guys just, like, waiting for me?”

Cop 1: “Well you keep talking like that and we just might be later down the road.”

Lady: “Ah ha, oh, don’t all of you just wish you were sleeping next to me?”

Cop 2: “Nope.”

Lady: “Ah ha, oh, what the f***?”

(The cops let her by and they leave the store.  The lady comes over to me at the register.)

Lady: “Ha ha, they don’t wanna sleep next to me.”

Me: “I can’t imagine why.”

Lady: *Perking up quickly*  “Oh!  You’re still selling beer!”

Me: “Not to you ma’am.  You’re drunk.”

Lady: *Smile instantly draining from her face* “No, I’m not drunk.  I’m just happy.”

Me: “No, ma’am, you’re drunk.”

(The lady is silent for a few moments then she smiles again.)

Lady: “Okay, well, I’ll just go shop somewhere else.”

Me: “Okay, you take it easy.”

(She goes back to her taxi.  I start laughing because I know for a fact that none of the other station in the area will sell her alcohol.  I tell my manager when she arrives in the morning and she thought it was hysterical.)