Unfiltered Story #108169

| Unfiltered | April 1, 2018

isn’t too distracting or dangerous or if there is a customer. It’s a pretty slow day, with only 6 customers over the course of 3 hours, so most of us is listening to music or just messing around in the lounge.)

Coworker: Hey, [My Name], some dude wants you up front. He wants to see you immediately.

Me: Oh? Did he say who he was?

Coworker: I’m not sure, just something about you being his “best mate” in elementary school.

Me: *already suspicious, as I was home-schooled up until middle school* Lemme take a look

Man: FINALLY! Hey, [Name] how ya doing?

Me: Uh, do I know you?

Man: Yeah! It’s me, [name]! Listen, they employee of yours, absolutely worthless. Absolutely r******* and slow.

Me: Listen mate, Aussie is a pretty much thing so tell me, if you ARE my best mate, what school did I go to?

Man: *somewhat caught off guard* Uh, [Popular High School].

Me: Wrong, I was home schooled until middie. Second, my best friend is the coworker of mine that you just insulted. Get out.

(I suppose I should mention that I am very much a female, complete with the long hair and chest.)

Man: Wait, you’re not a man!

Other Manager: *shocked* Did you really just notice that she ain’t a man? I mean, COME ON, man! She got the a** and t***!

Man: I demand to see the real manager! Obviously, neither of you are managers because both of you are woman!

Coworker: That makes absolutely no sense.

Man: *irate* I want to see the manager.

Me: All of our managers in this establishment are female. If you don’t like it, either deal with it, or get out.

Man: No! I know you have a male manager. GET HIM!

Coworker #2: *comes out with a really crappily cut name tag stuck to her shirt with duct tape and a fake mustache drawn on her face* ’tis I, the Man Manager.

(Another thing, Coworker #2 is well endowed)

Man: FINALLY, it’s my mate. Listen, I have my resume here, do me a solid and hire me, please?

Coworker #2: Sorry man, can’t do that, cause I’m not the manager! *points at me* She is!

(At this point, the man rushes me and pins me to the wall by the throat. Everything starts turning dim until somebody tackles him and gets him off of me. It’s our 150 lb petite Asian security lady.)

Man: What the f***? When did woman become so fit?

Security: Shut your f****** mouth before I duct tape it shut.

(Best part, when the police came and the man saw that it was a woman, she flipped out and tried to punch her. Fun fact, don’t bother trying to beat a police officer officer, even if she is female, and ESPECIALLY if your hands are duct taped together)

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