Unfiltered Story #108138

, | Unfiltered | March 28, 2018

(I’m a patient at a local urgent care clinic; my father is with me. I have a terrible stomach bug and have been doing nothing but vomiting for the past two days. I just had a liter of fluids pumped into me through an IV, but am so dehydrated that I’m *still* thirsty. And I still feel like puking, because the industrial-strength nausea medication they mixed into my IV has yet to kick in.
Suffice it to say I’m miserable and in a good deal of discomfort and pain.)

(The beds here are separated by curtains, so you can hear your neighbors. Lucky for me, the clinic is pretty dead at the moment; there’s only one other patient.)

Nurse (to other patient): So what brings you here?

Patient: Well, I felt a little funny, and *proceeds to self-diagnose with a few conditions, but I think she focused on a supposed ulcer.*

Nurse: Alright. And on a scale of 1 to 10, how much pain are you in right now?

Patient (without hesitation): 1. I just wanted to check.

*My father and I struggle to keep a straight face, as does our nurse, who’s overhearing this conversation just as we are. I eventually start giggling, because to heck with it, I’m sick.
It’s now a running joke between my dad and I—I ended up in the ER for unrelated reasons about a month later, and on the car ride to the hospital, my dad and I kept joking that I was a 1 on the pain scale despite my black eye, nasty cuts, and possible concussion, all exacerbated by a severe bleeding disorder (the only good reason one would rush to the ER at 10 PM due to a brief dizzy spell.)
My mother was not amused.*